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“That’s what I’ve been telling you.”
“I know.” I purse my lips while I remember standing outside the police station yesterday morning. I almost went inside, but something held me back. I don’t know why I can’t just go inside and tell them what happened. Every time I think of that day, I remember how Josh grabbed me, forcing me down onto the floor, trying to take off his jeans.
A shiver ripples down my spine and I quickly stand and walk around the counter towards the stock room. My hands shake as the images continue to plague me and I lean against one of the high shelves, taking in deep, gulping breaths in order to calm myself.
“Rachel,” I hear Seth, feel his hand on my shoulder.
I whirl around and smack his hand away.
Seth holds up his hands. “I’m sorry, Rachel.” He takes a step back while keeping his hands up. “I won’t touch you.”
My shoulders slump and I feel terrible for pushing him away when he hasn’t done anything wrong. “No, it’s fine.” I step towards him and wrap my hands around his waist, leaning my head against his shoulder. My eyes clothes and I breathe him in. “I’m sorry for smacking you.”
“Its fine, Rachel,” he murmurs while nuzzling my nose. “I know you’re going through a lot right now.”
I nod and my hands tighten around him while his arms come over me, holding me close.
“I think your teacher is right though. You need to go. I can go with you if you need support.”
My eyes open and I look up at him, catching his gaze filled with so much warmth. “Really?”
He smiles and strokes a stray lock away from my face. “Of course, Rachel. You know how much I care about you.”
My hand comes around his neck and I pull him towards me, pressing my mouth against his. His tongue slides against my lips and I open myself to him, allowing him to deepen the kiss. My hands stroke his hair, tugging it slightly before caressing him once more. He moves us backwards until my back is resting against the shelving unit. I groan as I feel his hand come up to cup my breast and my legs part for him.
His hand slides away, and he grabs my leg, pulling it above his hip. I cling to him as my kisses become more desperate. I know we’re at work. I know we shouldn’t be doing this, but I want this. I want this more than anything right now; just a moment of bliss. A moment to forget all my problems and worries.
Seth grinds himself against me and I moan. I toss my head back, allowing him access to my neck. He kisses a path down to my collarbone, his teeth sinking into my flesh wonderfully before returning to sucking and licking. One hand cups my butt while the other slides up and palms my breast.
Something clangs in the distance, but I ignore it as I pull Seth’s lips back to me. I bite his bottom lip and warmth pools in my stomach, tightening my insides as I hear a growl from him.
“Hello!” I hear someone call.
I stop, pulling away from Seth. Our eyes are glued to each other and I know I mirror the shock on his face as I hear the person ask, “Is anyone here?”
“Fuck,” Seth murmurs while stepping away from me. “Just a moment!”
I giggle while we straighten ourselves. I don’t know how I did it, but Seth’s hair is standing up in tufts, as if glued their by hair gel. Seth turns to me and straightens my hair all while trying to tuck his shirt back into his pants with one hand.
“Go,” I whisper while pushing him towards the stockroom door. “I can fix myself.” My gaze falls to the tent in his pants and I giggle while covering my mouth with a hand. “Or maybe I should go?”
“No, I got this,” says Seth while making a face and sliding his hands into his pants. I nearly burst out laughing as his face scrunches into a mixture of discomfort and irritation.
“I’m waiting!” The customer calls once more, a hint of irritation in their tone.
“Coming! Coming!”
I watch Seth leave while running my fingers through my tangled hair, feeling joy brim inside me. At least I have Seth on my side, I tell myself. I lean against the shelving unit once more and stroke my chin thoughtfully, wondering when I should go to the police station.
I should go as soon as possible, I decide while holding my head high and striding out of my hiding place in the stockroom.
***
The next day I lay in bed, trying to get some of my work done, but I can’t focus. Seth and I decided to go to the police station on Monday. I stare down at the notes I’ve written over and over in my notebook detailing what happened between me and Josh that night. I scrunch up my nose as I try to block the memories from trickling back inside my protective walls. I need to get at least something done.
I roll over in my bed and stare up at the ceiling, deciding counting the cracks is a much better way to pass the time rather than drawing in my sketchbook. It’s not like I have a giant project due and an internship to apply for. I groan, pressing my palms against my face and wanting to scream. This semester is turning out to be a real pain. I just wish I could talk to Lauren or Charlie about it.
I should have told them what happened with Josh. I probably wouldn’t be in this mess if I had just been honest in the first place and done the right thing by going to the police.
