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My phone vibrates again and I clench my fists, telling myself I don’t need to answer it. I don’t need to see who it is. I’m worried if I look, I’ll answer, and if I answer, I’ll find myself running out of this place and heading to the next big party, getting blackout drunk. I can’t do that again. I need to be strong. I need to fight this urge, this need.
With one more buzz, my eyes open and my hand reaches inside my pocket, unable to fight myself any longer. I lean back in my seat. My fingers quiver as I type on the screen, seeing Millie’s missed text messages. My finger hovers above her name. I don’t have to look. I don’t have to know. I can just ignore it and go back downstairs. I can be with my family, reminiscing about all the hilarious things we got up to. I can just put my cellphone back into my pocket and pretend like Millie never messaged me.
Despite knowing all that, my finger lowers, pressing against her name. There’s a knock at my door and before I can read the messages, I hear my door squeaking open. Glancing over my shoulder, I see Rachel enter, followed by Seth and Lucas. They close the door behind them while Rachel strides towards me, taking my phone away and resting it on the desk.
“Are you alright?” She asks while sitting herself in my lap.
“Yeah, dude, we were worried about you,” says Seth while sitting himself on my bed.
“You just took off without a word,” adds Lucas. “Your Grandma makes a mean rhubarb pie by the way.”
Rachel runs her hands through my hair and I lean into her touch, appreciating her warmth. “You should get something to eat.”
I shake my head. “I’m not hungry,” I murmur.
“Then you should come sit with us,” says Lucas. “I don’t think you should be alone right now.”
I make a face. Actually, being alone is actually what I want. I open my mouth, but stop when I catch Seth’s scowl. “We’re not letting you be alone,” he says. “Not this time anyway.”
“Yeah, don’t make us grab you,” says Lucas while stepping closer. “I don’t care if you kick and scream, we’re not going to let you sit up here all by yourself.” His gaze wonders to my phone. “And we’re not going to let you leave without us.”
I grimace, knowing they’re right. I don’t know why I keep pushing them away. They’re my friends. No. They’re more than that.
But I don’t want them to think I’m weak. I’ve always been strong, brave; the perfect athlete. I don’t know why, but allowing people to see the weakness in me is hard. It makes me feel less of a man, which is crazy.
“Stay with me,” says Rachel while taking my hand. She places a kiss on my knuckles, before pressing her cheek into the palm of my hand. She blinks up at me with those beautiful green eyes of hers. “Be with me. With us. You can tell us anything, Hunter. We’re here for you. Let us be with you.”
“Yeah, bro,” says Seth. “You’re not any less of a man if you cry. Your mom just died. We won’t think any less of you.”
I turn to Lucas and watch him nod. “You don’t need to pretend with us. We’re family.”
I nod, allowing those words to settle in me. I feel the resolves of my walls slowly crumbling down. My bottom lip quivers. I try to bite it, to hang onto something, but the tears are already slipping from my eyes. I sob, and press my hands against my face, trying to hide myself while I feel Rachel’s arms wrapping around me.
She shushes me, her hands stroking my hair. Pulling me towards her, I nuzzle my face into her chest and continue sobbing. The bed squeaks and I feel Seth and Lucas around me, feel their arms wrapping around my body.
“It’s going to be alright,” says Rachel. “I know its hard now, but you have us.”
I nod while wiping the snot and tears from my face, knowing I probably look like a mess. “I know,” I whimper.
“What do you want?” Lucas asks while pulling away from me. “Pizza? Mario Kart?”
“Strippers?” Seth asks, earning a light smack from Rachel.
Seth shrugs. “What?”
Rachel rolls her eyes and Seth chuckles.
I pull Rachel closer to me, pressing my lips against her temple, her neck. I know now is not the time, especially since my whole family is right downstairs, but it’s been too long and I really want to forget. Maybe I don’t need booze and drugs for that.
“I want… you,” I whisper into her ear. My gaze lifts to Seth and Lucas and for some reason, I feel incredibly awkward, like a virgin when I say, “I want… us.”
Rachel smiles at me, leaning forward with hooded eyes. “Ok,” she breathes before seizing my lips with hers.
My eyes flutter close and my arms wrap around her, holding her against me as her tongue strokes my bottom lip. It moves to my top, making my mouth drop open and allow her entrance. I groan, feeling her tongue slip against mine, igniting fires I haven’t felt in all too long. She shifts herself in my lap, moving to straddle me on either side. Her hands cup my face. I hear ruffling around me. When I open my eyes, I see Seth and Lucas throwing off their suit jackets and unbuttoning their shirts.
Rachel releases my lips, leaning back while her thighs grip me. She pulls up her black dress, the garment going up and over her shoulders, displaying a black bra and matching thong. My cock twitches at the sight of her milky white skin and all I want to do is claim her lips again and drown my aching heart in her beautiful body.
She slips from my lap, smiling mischievously at me while moving to the bed. Lucas and Seth have already pulled off their pants and are standing in their boxers. I grab my suit jacket while rising, shrugging out of it. I still at the sound of footsteps padding up the staircase and my eyes whip to the door. Lunging for it, I quickly lock it, pressing my body against it while hearing the assailant rap their knuckles lightly against the door.
