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My hands shake and I swallow as memories flood me. I try to look away, focus on the scenery, urge myself back into a run, but I can’t pull myself away. I remember the feeling of the bottle in my hand, downing the burning liquid while Mille, Drew, and Jerry laugh around me. Millie holds onto my arm, pressing her large breasts against me, trying to lead me into another room. I remember Drew and Jerry tugging me into a bathroom, a white substance on the toilet.
My teeth grind and I feel myself shaking as I remember Jerry swinging his bat at me.“Where’s our money, Hunter?”
A chill ripples through my spine, leaving me cold. I step back, away from the group of kids and quickly turn around. I gasp, holding up my arms as Seth rams into me. I brace myself, feeling him collide with my body, but thankfully I’m a heavy dude and remain rooted to the pavement. Seth groans, stumbling backwards onto his ass and he lies there for a moment, his chest heaving while he regains his breath.
“What the fuck, Hunter?” He rasps while pushing himself up. “You should know better than to step out in front of someone!”
I give him my hand, pulling him to his feet.“Sorry,” I murmur, looking away. I feel bad. I should know better. I always hate it when someone interrupts my workouts, or doesn’t know the rules of the gym. The most important one being, don’t get in my way.
“I could have gotten seriously injured.”
I nod.“I know. I…” I wince, still feeling cold all over as I recall throwing my phone into the snow back in Aurora; ignoring the call from my father, telling me Mom had passed away. Tears prickle my eyes and I wipe them away, hoping Seth doesn’t notice. “I wasn’t thinking,” I quickly say.
“Obviously.”
“You know what, I’m just going to go,” I say, turning on my heel. I can’t stand myself right now. I can’t stand these memories, haunting me all the time. I’m a pain not only to myself, but my friends and family.
“No, Hunter,” I hear Seth shout from behind. “Come back. I didn’t mean it like-”
I raise a hand, waving it slightly while shouting,“It is fine.” I sniff and I feel my heart twinge with pain once more. I don’t know what has come over me. I don’t know what it is that triggered me. The memories? Nearly hurting Seth? The group of kids partying away?
I could really use a drink right now.
I press my palms into my eyes and shake my head. No, I tell myself.
Lucas most likely has wine and beer in thefridge, thatdark voice whispers in the back of my head.
I grit my teeth, feeling the urge to give in, but I know I can’t. I know I need to fight it, keep busy.
Stay out of the apartment.
I slow my walk back home, trying to make a game plan in my head to keep myself from Lucas’s refrigerator. I already made Rachel and the bros worry about me last several months. I couldn’t do that now. We’re in a completely different country for one. How would they even be able to find me? Help me?
No, I need to keep busy. I’ll take a shower, and wander around to get the lay of the land. I nod to myself, probably looking like an insane person, but I don’t care. Afterwards, I’ll meet Rachel at the Louvre and we can go for coffee.
Yeah, I smile to myself. That sounds good. I just need to keep myself busy for the next seven hours.
4
SETH
I watch Hunter go, feeling guilty for the way I treated him. It wasn’t that bad. I’m just being an asshole, because I’m stressed out about the marathon. I sigh, watching him go and wondering if I should chase after him. The dude was going through a lot. With last semester being an absolute shit show and then his mom dying.
I should be nicer to him.
Although, walking on eggshells has never been in my skillset. And I don’t think it ever will be. Maybe he needs some time. I’ll try tomorrow; see if he wants to go running again. I turn around, my eyes finding a group of kids drinking and smoking. I bite my lip, realizing why Hunter had looked so out of it.
I really am an asshole.
I don’t quite understand therapy or triggers, however I know he’s still haunted by memories. I should have known. It’s not the first time he’s had that strange look in his eye, like he’s seen a ghost.
I know I should go after him, but at the same time I need to train for the marathon. I shake my head at myself. He will probably be fine. I will talk to him after my run and maybe we can go site seeing later.
With that, I urge my body forward, starting off slow once more to get my muscles adjusted to the speed. The marathon is only four weeks away. I’ve been training every day for several hours, either by running or weight training, trying to get my muscles ready. Coach warned me not to overdo it and he was the only reason I was able to go on this trip with Rachel.
I try to concentrate on the beauty of France rather than the anxiety burning through me, making my shoulders tense and my heart skittish. The Eiffel Tower is beautiful and massive. The trees are neatly clipped and there’s so much greenery for being in the capital of France. Yet, no matter how much I try to concentrate on the beautiful scenery, my thoughts keep being pulled towards the marathon.
If I don’t win, I have to pay back all that money. I already know I won’t be able to. Coming from a poor family and only being able to go to school due to my track scholarship, makes everything a bit difficult for me. I’m not Lucas. I’m not Hunter. I can’t make a phone call and be given money in two seconds.
