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*****
I wake up early the next morning, pushing my exhausted body out of the bed. Staring at myself in the small mirror, I tie my hair into a messy bun while staring back at my reflection. Dark circles mar my red, swollen eyes.
My night had been filled with tossing and turning. Images of my mom tormented my dreams, plagued with her disappointed look. I dreamt of us meeting for Christmas, but instead of presents, I received coal; instead of food, I ate coal. In one dream, my mom and dad both walked in on me having sex with the bros in my old room; however, instead of getting upset, they pointed and laughed.
I sigh while staring back at myself. There has to be something I can do to fix this. Checking the time on my phone, I notice it’s only a quarter to seven. Mom’s flight leaves around one, which means I have plenty of time to go over to her hotel.
Maybe we can sit down, have some breakfast, and I can thoroughly explain to her what’s going on between me and my roommates. With that plan in mind, I change as quickly as possible into a baggy green dress and some white tennis shoes. I grab my bag and stalk down the halls, moving briskly so I don’t change my mind. The bros’ doors remain closed.
I don’t know if they slept much last night either. After Mom left, I cried for what seemed like forever. After I was done crying, I sat catatonically on the couch until Hunter finally took me to bed. This affected them just as much as it affected me.
I step lightly down the staircase, my eyes wincing against the bright sun. If Mom tells me to break up with the bros, what will I say? Obviously no, but I need to be a bit more political about my word choice. I don’t know if she’ll accept that I love all three of them. She’ll probably say I’m being selfish.
I groan inwardly. Deep down, I know we should have waited until today to be intimate. There was always the chance Mom would catch us. I allowed my desire to blind me, and now we’re all stuck in this awkward position.
My pace slows when I see the blue hotel in the distance. The sun beams behind it, casting a glow around the construction. My stomach clenches and I feel bile rising in my throat. Panic makes my heart pound in my ears.
You should turn around, a little voice says in the back of my head.You can talk about this when the both of you have space.
No, I should do this now or else, I tell myself while fisting my hands. If I don’t talk to Mom now, it’s just going to be this black spot sitting between us, tainting our future conversations and meetings.
I stalk towards the hotel, knowing it’s now or never. With a long inhale to calm my racing heart, I enter the hotel, striding towards the reception desk and forcing a smile.
“Why hello,” says the receptionist with a bright smile and a voice way too high for this early in the morning. “Welcome to Stargaze Hotel. How can I help you?”
“I’m here to see my mom,” I say. My fingers tap nervously on the desk, and I clench my hand to make it stop. This is going to be one awkward conversation. “She should be checking out today. Her name is Sarah Miller.”
“Would you like for me to call her?” she asks, her hands hovering over the keyboard.
“Yes, that would be lovely.”
I watch her clack her fingers on the keyboard, most likely searching for Mom’s reservation. She grabs the phone, but before dialing she asks, “What’s your name, sweetie?”
“Rachel Miller. I’m her daughter.”
She nods vigorously while dialing the number. “Why good morning, ma’am,” she says. “I have a Miss Rachel Miller waiting for you down in the lobby.” She nods her head before hanging up. “She’ll be down in a minute. You can wait in the lobby, or the cafe.” She gestures towards a small restaurant to the right.
“Tell her I’ll be in the cafe,” I say while turning towards the restaurant.
I will definitely need a coffee for this conversation, I think while choosing a table closest to the door, pressed against a large window. A very large coffee. A coffee the size of Mt. Everest. My leg bounces while I wait for the server to arrive. My gaze keeps shifting from the cafe entrance to the window.This will work, I tell myself. I’m her daughter, anyway. She can’t hate me. Well, she can’t hate me forever. I’m her only child, which means when she gets old, I’m the only one there to take care of her. She’ll have to forgive me at some point.
The server comes and takes my order while I wait for Mom. She’s definitely taking her time. Although, it is quite early in the morning. We didn’t make plans to meet up for breakfast, so the receptionist most likely woke her up. She probably has a bunch of packing today.
She could have invited me up to help.
I sniff, feeling a bit miffed that I’m stuck here waiting in a hotel cafe for my mom to finally give me the time to explain my actions. We had so much fun shopping and exploring the campus. Well, if I hadn’t been hiding such a huge secret, it probably would have been more fun. And Mom had been acting weird.
Does her walking in on me and the bros having sex have anything to do with the reason why she’s been acting weird? Like, has she been cheating on Dad? I shake my head. No, that’s not possible. She would never do that to him.
I perk up when I see Mom in the entrance and raise my hand, waving her over. Her frown deepens when she notices me. Her hands clench on her suitcases’s handle in a white-knuckled grip. Oh, goody. This is going to be wonderful.
She steps purposefully towards me, looking around at the empty tables before heaving a sigh and sliding into the chair in front of me.
“Hi, Mom,” I say awkwardly.
She sighs while lowering her purse into her lap.
“I’m sorry if I woke you up,” I rush out. “I just thought-”
