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I wrinkle my nose. The strong smell is too much for me right now. “Maybe just water for now,” I croak.
I take a seat at the head of the table, grimacing when a memory returns of me toppling over the platter of turkey. Everything has been tidied. There are not even grease stains on the floor. There are blankets flung out all over the couch. Meaning: they had a slumber party in here while I hogged the bed.
“Do you want some French toast, Hunter?” Rachel calls, and I watch as she flips the toast in the pan with perfect skill.
“No,” I say, wincing at the pain in my throat. “I’m not hungry.”
Lucas sets a large glass of water in front of me and I give him a thankful nod. I sip at the water, relishing in the way it soothes my throat and how it calms the churning in my stomach and the pounding in my head. I wait for someone to start—for either Rachel or Lucas to bring up last night, but everyone continues to eat quietly. Are we going to pretend like nothing happened? I deserve to be yelled at. They should leave me to wallow in my self-pity. Why aren’t they saying anything?
A strange sound escapes my lips and everyone turns toward me. Something is wrong with me. I can’t seem to stop crying. I sound pathetic. I probably look pathetic. “I’m so sorry,” I sob, turning away from everyone so they can’t see.
Suddenly, arms are wrapped around me, and I see Rachel hovering above me. Her fingers caress my hair. Her warmth makes my heart flutter. “It’s okay, Hunter,” she whispers. “We’re here for you.”
“I don’t want to be this way,” I cry. “But I don’t know how to stop.”
“It’s okay, bro,” Seth says while sidling close to me, wrapping his arms around from the other side. “Just let it all out.”
“I feel terrible.” I sniff and wipe my eyes. “How can you guys be so forgiving?”
“Because we care for you,” says Lucas while crouching in front of me.
Alex stands beside Lucas, resting a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry. It’s going to be all right.”
I shake my head. “Why do I feel like I won’t be?”
Rachel nuzzles her nose against me. “Because the future isn’t set yet. Only you can decide how it turns out.” She presses her lips against my temple. “We will always be here for you when you fall, Hunter. Remember that. You don’t have to be perfect all the time.”
I sigh into her arms and press my face against her chest, breathing in her warmth and that wonderful coconut smell of her hair. “I love you,” I whisper.
“I love you, too.”
***
I stand in front of the check-in counter, trying to keep myself together as I watch the clerk hand Rachel her ticket home. After spending three hours cuddling with her, I eventually found the energy to take a shower and look as presentable as possible. We went to the Sears Tower, where the bros forced Rachel to stand over the glass floor. I smile as I remember Rachel’s giggles and screams. Lucas finally had enough and simply picked her up and placed her on the floor. After a few minutes of adapting, we had to eventually drag her away. She wouldn’t stop taking a million pictures.
Typical Rachel.
Afterward we grabbed some Chicago style hotdogs and Seth nearly got chewed out when he asked for ketchup. I probably should have told him ketchup is a big no-no in Chicago, but watching Seth’s face when the server sternly told him off was simply priceless.
“All right,” Rachel says with a sigh. She drags her small suitcase close to her. It feels like only yesterday I was picking her up from the airport, and now she’s leaving me. I have no clue when we will be able to see each other next. Winter vacation? Summer? Will I even have time off then?
“It looks like we’re all set,” Rachel says while caressing my arm. “Are you going to be okay?”
No. I force a smile and nod curtly. “I’ll be fine,” I lie. “You don’t need to worry about me.”
Rachel gives me a stern look and shakes her head. “Don’t lie to me, Hunter.”
“I’m not,” I rasp.
I don’t want to stay here. I want to go with them. I don’t care if the shower is shit and I will have to share a room with Lucas or sleep on the couch. I miss what we had. I hate what I have now. Chicago is a lovely city and all, but it doesn’t have the beautiful mountain peaks covered in snow, and it certainly doesn’t have Rachel.
“You can always call me,” Rachel says softly. “Don’t think you have to suffer alone. I will answer. No matter the time.”
I raise an eyebrow at that. “Even when you’re in class?”
“Of course,” she says with a chuckle. “I’ll just tell them my aunt Fiona is upset about her cat dying. I’m sure my professors will understand.”
I laugh at that. “Seriously? You’d do that for me?”
