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“Yeah,” I say with a soft, genuine smile, “that might work.”
Chapter 4
SETH
Ipullatmyfire orange T-shirt hugging my body as I wait for Dr. Forrester to call me into her office. The bold letters readingPumastare back at me. The fabric is soft, unlike my Walmart brand running gear I’ve been wearing for years. The pants are cool, too: black with a stripe going down the side and a white outline of the Puma cat jumping. I could run forever in these clothes. They are form-fitting without being uncomfortable. I feel like I should have been buying shit like this from the beginning. However, how could I possibly afford this on my mom’s minimum wage salary and my meager pay? And why would I spend hundreds of dollars on clothes that I will just need to replace in a few months?
The fact that Alex gets this shit for free, with his wealthy doctor parents and his rich lifestyle, really pisses me off. Why does he get free shit while I live in squalor? Well, I suppose I should be thanking him for inviting me out to Denver to shoot with him, but still. Rich people have it so easy. Really pisses me off. I should be ripping this into pieces, not stroking it gently as if it’s my precious. But the fabric really is soft.
My fingers brush against the collar and I flinch, my face heating as I’m reminded of Alex touching my collarbone tenderly. He caressed my skin as if I was some sort of virgin maiden fluttering my eyelashes up at him and puckering my lips. I, of course, did no such thing. However, I can’t stop thinking of that trip to Denver. I don’t even know why I said yes. I should have stayed home and looked after Rachel. She’s been a bit of a mess since Hunter left. Instead, my mouth answered for me and I found myself whisked away to an unknown city, staying at some fancy hotel Alex paid for.
What the hell was I thinking?I ask myself while grinding my teeth.I don’t think I was thinking. That’s the problem.
“Seth?” Dr. Forrester calls.
I jump up from my seat, my face heating even more as Dr. Forrester’s smile widens. “Yes?” I grimace at the crack in my voice.
“You can come in now.”
I nod vigorously and brush past her, wondering how long she was calling me or watching me before I finally answered. I dump my body onto the couch far away from her desk and place my hands in my lap. My leg bounces up and down nervously, wondering what she’s going to ask me about. She knows I went to Denver with Alex. She also knows we are rivals. Although, lately, the term rivals seems to be quite a loose title to describe us. I have no clue what to name what we are. Friends? No, that doesn’t seem right. Acquaintances? Most definitely not. Guys who fuck the same girl usually at the same time? That name is way too fucking long.
So what are we, then?
“You seem to be doing well, Seth,” Dr. Forrester starts while looking me over. “Have you been keeping to your goals?”
I bob my head up and down. By goals, she means sticking to breakfast, lunch, and dinner. At first, I was eating barely anything, but we’ve been increasing the amount of calories slowly. Some days are better than others. I think I ate the most while I was in Denver with Alex. I don’t know why, but I felt like letting go.
I’m having the opposite of that feeling now. Not knowing what’s going on with Alex is actually making me need more control. Rather than eating my usual eggs and avocado this morning, I had a banana and I took a protein bar with me for lunch.
“I don’t think I’m doing as good as I should be,” I say with a grimace. “Ever since Denver, I feel like that need for control is coming back.”
Dr. Forrester frowns. “Well, I guess we need to discuss what happened in Denver.”
I frown too. I should have kept my mouth shut.
“Did anything strange happen? Did Alex say anything to offend you?”
I shake my head. “No, not at all.” I stare at my lap, not knowing if I should tell her what’s going on in my head. I feel confused. Lately, things don’t really make any sense. “We got along well.” I chuckle as I think of him running away from me, deciding to race to the hotel while I stuffed my face with ice cream. The fucking asshole won, too. “It was almost like we were best friends. But I”—I grimace, not knowing if I should really be talking about this—“I did something strange. Something I shouldn’t have.”
“What did you do?”
I crack my knuckles, not knowing how to explain this without coming off a certain way, because I’m definitely not that way. I have a girlfriend, who I really enjoy having sex with. A lot. There’s no way I could be…
“Seth?”
“Well, he had some ice cream on his cheek,” I say slowly. “And I cleaned it up.”
“That’s it?”
“Well, I…” My face feels like I stuck it in a flaming pit of fire. I continue playing with my fingers, not wanting to look up and see Dr. Forrester’s curious eyes. I don’t think I could meet them right now. “I kinda cleaned it up with my finger, and then I sucked on it… in front of him.” Yep, I think my face is literally about to explode off my body. I look around, wondering if there’s any fan she can turn on to help with the heat, but I find none. My gaze catches hers. She doesn’t look judgy nor does she look curious. There’s no smile tugging at her lips. She’s merely listening.
She must be really good at playing poker,I think while sinking further into the couch.
“What happened after?”
“The asshole gave me his ice cream and then started a race back to the hotel. The fucking cheater won, too.” I bristle at my use of ‘fucking’ and quickly mutter, “Sorry for swearing.”
“What happened when you got back to the hotel? Did he say anything about what happened?”
