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“No,” Alex says, his head tilting to one side. He stops, his eyes never leaving mine. The corner of his mouth twists upwards, making him look mischievous, especially in the moonlight. “I don’t think I do,” he finishes, his words sounding sultry to my ears.
He hovers over me, his eyes staring down at me with a question lingering there. He leans towards me and my breath hitches, wanting those lips on me once more. It’s wrong, I tell myself, but there’s a part of me that really doesn’t care. I open my mouth, for what reason I don’t know. Maybe I want to say something, but whatever it is, words have floated away and all I can think about is Alex’s lips and how wonderful they felt on me, and all I want is to feel them on me again.
Alex’s eyebrows raise and his fingers brush my hair away from my face. The touch has my blood flooding my face and no matter how I try I cannot tear my gaze away from Alex.
“Seth?” Alex says, his voice low and making my insides twist with desire.
Fuck it, I decide, pushing up onto my tiptoes and slamming my mouth onto his. My arms circle his neck, pulling him close to me. I faintly hear his moan and my mouth opens in a gasp, allowing his tongue entrance. The kiss is amazing, better than the one in Chicago, the one Alex surprised me with moments before. I feel like I can finally let go of all the worries I’ve had building inside me about this. All I can feel is his tongue stroking mine, and his fingers caressing my hair. The bark pinches my back, but it’s worth it. A little pain heightens the pleasure, at least in my experience.
I tilt my head to the side, allowing easy access for Alex to kiss me more. His arms circle around my waist and his front presses against me. A shudder ripples through me as I realize he’s as hard as I am. This is crazy. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine me and Alex kissing. Maybe punching him in the face or beating him at a track meet. Never this.
As we kiss, I find myself becoming more confident, wanting to take more risks. I nibble on his bottom lip, eliciting a moan. His mouth slides away from mine and I hiss when he kisses the shell of my ear, sucking on my ear lobe. My mind is numb. All I can think about is his lips, his cock pressing into mine. I fidget, loving the building pressure. I want to take it further. There’s a whisper in the back of my head, urging me to take off his shirt, slip my hand down his pants, touch him like I touch myself. I push it away, knowing there’s no way we can do that. Or can I? Our cocks have touched each other before during one of our sex affairs with Rachel. How would this be any different?
Before I can move, Alex’s hand brushes against my cock. I gasp, my eyes flying open. My gaze travels to his hand palming my hard cock pushing against my pants. It’s both hot and completely shocking. I tell myself to push his hand away, to stop this before it can go any further. Instead, my eyes roll to the back of my head and my hips move on their own accord, pushing into his palm, wanting and needing more.
“Seth,” Alex murmurs against my neck.
I groan in response as his teeth graze against my nape. He has me twitching and swaying. My knees are about to buckle. The only thing keeping me standing is his arm around my waist.
“Do you want to—”
A twig snaps and I jerk away from Alex, sliding out from between him and the tree. I push my cock down while I look around, searching for who could be watching us. It’s not like this place isn’t often used for making out and having sex. Why were we so stupid? Anyone could see us here. They could out us, tell the team, and then what? This is the twenty-first century. Homophobia is looked down upon. Yet, not in the sport industry. What will we do if word gets out? What if we’re treated differently?
“It’s just a deer,” Alex says softly, his fingers lacing with mine. He tugs me tenderly back to him, but I smack his hand away, like the asshole I am.
“We should get back,” I say while trudging down the hill, struggling to push my cock down and think of something other than how it felt to have Alex’s hand on it.
“Seth!” Alex calls after me, but I ignore him. I run down the hill, half sliding in my attempts to distance myself from him. My face feels like it’s been sitting in boiling water for an hour. I don’t think my dick will ever go down. I can’t stop thinking about his tongue sliding against mine, or his teeth on my neck.
My hand flies to my neck with that thought, and I can’t stop the horror filling me, wondering if he left a mark. Well, that’s easy to hide, I tell myself. I can just tell anyone who asks that Rachel gave it to me. It’s not a huge deal.
“Seth, wait up!” Alex shouts. He sounds irritated, and a part of me hates it, but I can’t come out right now. I don’t even know what I am.
“Seth—”
I whirl around and shove a finger in Alex’s face. I hadn’t realized he was so close behind me. He jerks back before I can stab him in the nose with my fingernail, his eyes wide with worry and confusion. “Tell no one,” I hiss. “This doesn’t get out.”
“You can trust me, Seth,” Alex says while slowly lifting his hands as if I’m waving a gun around rather than my finger.
“And we can never do this again,” I say shakily. Regret fills me the moment those words leave my lips. But it’s the right thing. I don’t even know what we are, and we’re in a relationship with Rachel. Maybe she won’t mind, but how do we explain this to Hunter and Lucas. Yeah, me and Alex kinda have a thing for each other.
Alex raises an eyebrow and his arms lower. “Never again?” He steps towards me and I take a step back, feeling like we keep doing this.
“That’s right,” I say, my voice cracking.
Alex grabs me by the collar and pulls me close, his mouth slamming on mine. I moan as his tongue slides against mine, his teeth nibbling lightly on the tip of my tongue before releasing me. I sway on my feet, my mouth opening and closing and my cock twitching with need.
“Fine, never again,” Alex murmurs while brushing past me.
Why do I want to cry? I follow after him, catching up easily. We walk back to the apartment in silence. I keep thinking of things to say, but my mind has become muddled garbage. All I can think about is his tongue, his teeth, and how much I want to kiss him again despite telling Alex never again. I glance at him, his eyes are narrowed. He looks pissed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this frustrated with me before and honestly, it’s turning me on even more.
When we get to our apartment, I race up the steps, throwing open the door and running to my room before anyone can see the tent in my pants, or ask me why my eyes are so red. I slam the door shut and throw myself on my bed. I stare up at the ceiling, willing the memories away, but they taunt me, making my cock harden and my face flush with desire. I need to think about anything—anything, but this.
Think of Rachel, I tell myself, imagining her plump lips, her long luscious hair, and her eyes watching me while she sucks on the tip of my dick. Well, that definitely is a good memory to be thinking of. My eyes close while my hand slides down my front and into my workout shorts. I find my cock, primed and ready, already dripping precum and slicking my shaft. As I pump it, I think of her taking my dick completely inside her, moaning as she does it, like she loves sucking cock.
My image shifts and Alex is suddenly in my mind, watching me and Rachel while he jacks off in a chair across from us. A shiver ripples through me and my hand goes fast as our gazes lock. I know this is all in my head, but it’s so hot. Never again, I tell myself while I pump. I can never kiss him ever again, even though I really, really want to.
My eyes open and I try to push thoughts of Alex away, but he’s completely broken through all my walls, just like Rachel. He’s in my head, taunting me, watching me. There’s no way I can get rid of him now, and honestly, I don’t want him to go away. I want to do all the things lovers do, and that thought terrifies me the most.
