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“Sleeping,” I tell her, trying to figure out if she kidnapped a nurse from the hospital.
“Where?” she asks and I tell her.
She hurries past me and goes in to check on the kids before coming back out and asking me to join her in her room. This is not the time for sex. We’ve got to get going.
“J, listen. We don’t have a lot of time…” I start.
She gets up and closes the door behind me. “What’s up Cal?”
I turn to look at her and her face tells me that she knows what happened earlier. “I almost made a mistake. Forget about it,” I respond.
“I can’t forget about it, Calder. What happened? What made you want to kill yourself?” she asks.
“Julissa. We don’t have time. I’ve got all your stuff packed, get showered, and changed. Let’s go.” I’m gesturing toward her bathroom and her bedroom door.
“Cal, sit. I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what happened. Was it me? Did I push you too far? Because if I did, I’m sorry.” She starts getting a little choked up.
Guilt harasses me and I can’t bear to look at her beating herself up when she’s already been wrecked by today. “No! No, baby, no.” I run over to her, crouching between her knees. “It had nothing to do with you.”
She runs her hand, caked with blood in my hair. “Then what was it?”
I move to sit on the floor. I’ve already managed to say it earlier and it’s time for me to stop hiding it from her.
“There’s something I haven’t told you,” I start as I rest my back up against her bed, next to her knees now to avoid looking into her eyes. I don’t want to see her judging me, pitying me, reinforcing my fears that I’m worthless.
She comes down off the bed and joins me on the floor, grabbing my hand with her other less bloody hand, clasping our fingers together in silent encouragement for me to keep going. And I do. “Um…” I get choked up but grunt past the agony to let it out. “When I was a kid…” I take a deep breath in and release it, “… my dad raped me for years.” I finally say it, waiting for her to gasp aloud or in disgust.
Sure, she’d been through sexual trauma as a kid and she was strong for overcoming it but I’m a man, and given the same context, I feel emasculated. I’m sure she’s going to start seeing me as less now.
She doesn’t say anything, she just squeezes my hand, a gentle gesture.
I try not to let my tears spill over as I try to wrap this up, giving myself the excuse that it’s because we don’t have a lot of time to spend talking about this. “So, this situation just kind of triggered me.”
I start moving away. And she lets me. I don’t exit the room though. I’m just finding it hard to look at her still. She comes around to stand in front of me, rubbing my shoulders before taking me into a hug. “Thank you for telling me. And I’m so sorry for getting you involved in this,” she says.
When she releases me, I feel the place on my shirt where she rested her head and it’s a bit damp. She’s crying too. Before I can say anything in return, she hurries to the bathroom and locks the door. I’m not sure how to interpret that but I do know that it hurts. The closing of the door feels like rejection for some reason.
Nevertheless, I round my shoulders up and walk out of the room to find a woman in a nurse’s outfit with gloves on and tongs as she proceeds to pull the bullet out of Axel’s leg. It’s uncomfortable to watch so I head to the kitchen and sit on a stool to wait for Julissa to rejoin us.
Chapter 39
Mikhail
AfterAxel’slegisstitched up and he’s given some drugs to help with the pain, it’s time for my shoulder to get tended to. As the nurse puts in the very last stitch, Julissa emerges from her room looking like an angel in soft pink pajama shorts that I can’t wait to run my fingers across and a matching pink tank top. Her hair is up in a ponytail showing off her stunning bone structure that she doesn’t reveal as often. Her ass cheeks are peeking out the bottom and the whole room is alert to her presence, even Axel who can barely keep his eyes open because of the meds.
She rubs her left arm covered in tiny cuts and shifts on her feet. “It’s the only thing I could find.” She shrugs, referring to her already packed suitcase.
I’m amazed at how she managed to escape an all-out war with only a few scratches. She’s unbelievable, magnificent. I turn to the nurse. “Thanks so much. We’ll find some way to compensate you but could you give us some time alone?” I ask her, politely asking her to go home.
The nurse exchanges a curious look with Julissa as if asking permission. That’s weird but I’m too overwhelmed with passion for this goddess before me to give it much thought. As soon as the nurse leaves, I undress Julissa with my eyes and she blushes, turning away from me which strikes me again as odd because she’s not shy usually.
“You know, if you told me you were going to shower, I could’ve run you a hot bath, given you that massage I promised you,” I say, staring beneath her waist.
“Julissa, let me grab you some clothes to get changed into. We’ve got to hit the road,” Calder says, cutting me off.
But Julissa knows what’s up. I can tell by the hardness of her nipples peeking through her shirt.
“I’m exhausted, Cal. Let’s just chill here tonight and we can leave in the morning, first thing, I promise. Or, you know what, I don’t want to force you to stay if you’d rather get going. I understand your anxiety. If you’re uncomfortable staying, you can go ahead, I’ll catch up with you tomorrow. I’m so tired. All I want to do is climb into bed.” She stretches, showing off her abs.
