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The whole courtroom goes completely silent as Finn tosses his pen down on the table. Jace looks over at me, fear etched all over his face. I give him a warm smile just so he knows I'm not mad. How could I be? It's not like we were together, and that was entirely my fault.
As the new information settles in, everything starts to become clear. Why he beat himself up over everything. The way he acted. He already hated himself for falling for his best friend. That paired with the guilt and trauma of watching the girl you loved die—it's heartbreaking.
The prosecutor continues, not giving Jace a minute to calm himself down, but my attention is drawn to Carter. He says absolutely nothing as he stands up and leaves the courtroom. A part of me wants to follow him, but the last thing I want is for Jace to think I'm mad at him or think any less of him for this. I look over at Wyatt with pleading eyes, and he nods.
"I've got it."
Focusing back on Jace, I can't help but feel an uncomfortable pit in my stomach. And judging by the look on Finn's face, I have a reason to be scared.
Have you ever been afraid of something to go wrong, and then it happens, and it's even worse than you imagined? That about sums up how today went. We were honestly better off keeping me away from the stand and letting them believe that I was some overly-obsessed guy who didn't want to give his friend up.
The second the secret came out about my feelings for Davianna, the prosecution was all over it like a bad rash. They switched their standpoint and tried to accuse me of killing her in a fit of rage over unrequited love. They claimed I was angry that she was with Carter, and that I killed her because she wouldn't love me back.
What they don't realize is up until this week, I thought she felt the same about me. The way she acted when Carter wasn't around, it was like she was a whole different person. We talked about our interests and our goals, and dreamed of living in a world where our parents' wealth wasn't held over our heads like some kind of silver spoon leash.
She said that she could never talk to Carter about that kind of stuff. That he wasn't as deep as me and only wanted her for her body. But still, she stayed with him, and now I know why.
Like everything else in her life, I was just a game to her.
A tactic.
A ploy.
A puppet she used to get what she wanted.
She was everything to me, but I was nothing to her.
PAIGE SITS ON MY lap, just holding me while I hold her. Everyone is eerily quiet. After yesterday, we were holding strong and thought we had a good chance of winning, but after the shit show today, it's all cards wild. Finn said that it works to our advantage that the prosecution changed their story, because it shows uncertainty. Though he might have just been trying to ease my fears.
I look over and see as Mr. Trayland tries to call Carter for the millionth time since we left the courthouse, but as he sighs and shakes his head, I know he didn't get through.
"Still no answer?" I ask.
He shakes his head and retreats into one of the bedrooms with my dad and Finn—probably to figure out how they're going to do damage control on this.
My mind goes to Carter and how immediately after he found out about my feelings for Davi, he left. To be honest, I thought he knew. I thought that the important part was whether or not I went for it, but I guess not. Because the second it came out, he up and left.
Paige and I sit alone in the living room. Everyone else made an excuse to go get dinner, but I think they just didn't know what to say, so they made themselves scarce. I don't exactly blame them. I wouldn't know what to say to someone either if he was most likely about to lose a murder trial.
Tomorrow they go over their final evidence, that the prosecution calls their “nails in my coffin,” and deliver their closing statements. Then the jury will go into deliberation to make two decisions. First, whether or not I am guilty of murder. And second, if I am found guilty, if I should spend life in prison or be considered for the death penalty.
Paige curls up even smaller in my lap and I hold her tight. One of the things that hurts me most is the thought of leaving her behind. She's one of the most loyal people I know, which is why I know that she won't just let me go. No. She'll wait. She'll spend years with my dad, looking for ways to get me out of prison. And I don't want that for her.
"Can you promise me something?" I question.
She turns so her forehead is resting against mine. "What's that?"
"If tomorrow doesn't go our way, that you won't wait for me."
Pulling her head away, I can already tell she's about to tell me no, but I stop her.
"Hear me out," I request, and she settles slightly. "I love you, and it's because I love you that I want you to have everything good in the world. The gorgeous beach wedding you've dreamt of since we were kids. The house that looks like it came out of a magazine. The perfect little family that bakes cookies on Sundays. You deserve it all, Paige. And I hope that I get to be the one that gives it to you, but if I'm not, I want you to move on."
Tears spring to her eyes. "But I don't want it. If it's not you, I don't want it."
"Maybe not now, but you will. I promise, you will."
She shakes her head with a pout. "You're wrong."
