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He smiles sadly and presses his lips to my forehead. "I won't, baby. I swear."
Nodding, I let the numbness take over and cuddle into Jace's side, not knowing where my life is going to go from here, but at least knowing he's always going to be in it.
I sit in the office I've gotten so comfortable in, where I learned to face my demons instead of trying to hide from them. Where I learned that my anxiety and all the trauma I went through can only control me for as long as I let it. Where I learned that I'm not a lost cause. And for that, I'm grateful.
"You seem different today, Jace," Dr. Litman tells me. "Lighter, even."
I lean forward and rest my arms on my knees. "Yeah. I guess I am."
"I'm sure learning that you're not going to prison will do that to a person."
Chuckling, I nod. "Definitely."
She gets comfortable in her seat. "I'm glad it worked out. But I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't ask how you're doing otherwise. While you didn't cause Davianna's death, you still watched your friend die, and then had to relive it."
"She wasn't my friend," I interrupt.
"No?"
I shake my head. "I may have felt something for her at one time, but she wasn't my friend."
Taking a deep breath, I take comfort in my safe space and let my mind run to the thoughts that I once swore were forbidden.
"She was everything. The kind of girl who didn't just want your attention, she demanded it. The kind that could make an entire room revolve around her simply by being there. The kind who could make you feel special just by being around her but tear you down as soon as you turned your back. A jaw-dropping, show-stopping liar.
"Davi always loved the spotlight. Her happiness came from being the center of attention. I just can't believe it took Carter and Wyatt showing me that video for me to see it."
"See what, Jace?" Dr. Litman asks. "What was on the video?"
I look up at her, and a strangely calm feeling spreads through my body. "The truth."
Being back in my dorm feels surprisingly good. I used to hate this place. I thought it was small and uncomfortable, and at the risk of sounding like a total rich prick, I was raised in mansions and penthouses. But getting to come back here, it feels like home. Although, that could have a lot to do with the girl lying beside me.
"Jace," Carter calls. "Come here. We need you."
Paige snickers as I roll my eyes and climb off my bed. I get into the living room to see Carter and Wyatt sitting on the couch. Carter gets up and instructs me to sit in his seat while Wyatt presses a few buttons on his computer.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
Carter puts a hand on my shoulder. "You need to see."
Wyatt opens up a video and puts the computer back on my lap. As soon as I notice the familiar scenery, I want to get up. With the case behind me, there isn't a single part of me that wants to relive that night.
"No," I tell them, passing the computer back to Wyatt. "Nope. No, thanks."
As I try to stand up, Carter pushes me back down.
"Trayland, knock it off," I tell him. "How'd you even get a hold of that? I thought you had to surrender it to the court for evidence."
"Wyatt made a copy."
I nod once and try to get up again. "Good for Wyatt."
Carter steps in front of me and makes it so I fall back onto the couch. "I have watched you blame yourself for this for over a year and a half. You need to see it. Trust me."
No part of me feels calm about it, and even Paige makes her way out into the living room. She sits on the arm of the couch next to me, and her brows furrow as she looks at the screen.
With a sigh, I give in and nod, letting Wyatt pass me the computer.
