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Charlotte smiles down at her phone, and, judging by the mysterious glint in her eyes, I'm not going to like the cause. After spending the last two hours in a lecture about a million things I could have gone my whole life without knowing, I need a damn nap. We're just getting to our cars when she stops me.
"So, I hear there is this massive party tonight at Casa Bronsyn-Donovan. You should come."
The names are ones I'm used to. Zayn Bronsyn and Easton Donovan used to go to the high school that was across the street from my private one. To be honest, the only reason I know that is because my friend Delaney, much to Carter's dismay, ended up with their best friend Knox. Apparently, though, they've made quite a name for themselves here for throwing the best and biggest parties.
It's tempting, and a part of me wants to tell her I'm in, but there's that small voice in the back of my head. My dad's voice. A reminder of exactly where I'm needed. This weekend needs to consist of him and my school work, just like all the others.
I give her my best sad smile. "I would, but I don't think I can make it."
She clearly isn't surprised by the response, but she sighs. "Paige, you can't keep being such a homebody. You've got to get out more. Parties are fun."
I'm well aware of that. Hell, in high school and all throughout my freshman year of college, there weren't many parties I wasn't at. The energy, the mood, the music…I lived for it. But times are different now. I don't get to put myself first. Not anymore.
"I know, I know." I run my fingers through my hair in an attempt to make myself more comfortable. "Maybe next time."
"Whatever you say, hun."
She wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly before the two of us go our separate ways.
I'd be an idiot to think I can get away with no one knowing about my dad for much longer, but telling people isn't something I can handle right now. It makes it too real, like I'm speaking it into life. At least right now I can pretend everything is okay while I'm at school. For now.
SITTING ON THE COUCH, listening to Friends play in the background, is definitely one of my comfort zones, and I have no intentions of leaving this spot any t
ime soon. Sure, maybe it's not the best way to spend a Friday night, but it's as good as I can manage. My dad is sleeping right now, but that doesn't mean he won't wake up at some point and need something. Mom needs a break. Lord knows she works her ass off making sure he has everything he needs.
I'm scrolling through my literature notes when my phone vibrates and a text from Carter pops up on the top of the screen.
Carter: It was really good seeing you today. I missed you, and I know Jace does too.
I can't help but smile, because it really was nice to have lunch with him, but I think he has a few screws loose.
Me: Pretty sure all those times you were tackled went to your head. That boy wouldn't come to my funeral if I died tomorrow.
Harsh, perhaps, but I'd bet my life that it's the truth. When I stopped talking to him, it came out of left field, from his perspective. We had a heartfelt goodbye before the two of us went to different colleges all the way across the country, and we made a number of promises I never intended on keeping.
It took a couple weeks for the phone calls to stop, and a few more for the text messages to die down as well. He even reached out to Becca a few times, but she always made up an excuse for me. Eventually, he got the point, and with one final message sent to my phone, he gave up.
Jace: I can't believe you.
It was hard, and there were times when I almost gave in and answered, but I knew I couldn't. Jace was always a player in school. He and Carter used to have competitions at parties on who could hook up with the most girls. I guess I could have been different, especially when he stopped looking at other girls when he and I started fooling around. But I always knew in the back of my head that he meant so much more to me than I meant to him. If he had ended it with me for someone in Florida, I would have been irreparably damaged. Not that there was even anything to end, really—we never even made anything official.
So, I made the tough choice of protecting my heart, instead of listening to it, and never looked back.
Another text comes through, and I toss all memories into the tiny box in the back of my mind, where they belong.
Carter: Oh come on. He would, too. Let's not test that theory though.
I don't get a chance to answer before another one comes through.
Carter: There's a party tonight at my boy's house. You should come.
His boy? Since when are him and Zayn or Easton friends? I guess there's a chance that's not the party he was referring to, but I know Carter—he's always at the biggest ones. It's just how he operates. Once, he even ditched one of Jace's parties to go to one at NHU. It only took about an hour before even Jace left to meet up with him, not giving a shit that there were over a hundred kids in his house.
I could answer and make an excuse, but unlike Charlotte, Carter isn't one to buy it. It wouldn't even surprise me if he came over, threw me over his shoulder, and dragged me there. So instead, I swipe out and switch over to Instagram.
Of course, the first thing to pop up on my feed is a picture of Becca. She's smiling brightly with a few of our sorority sisters. It looks like they're at some type of Polar Bear Plunge, but she looks happy. And besides, it's not very cold in Southern California, even in the middle of January. I don't think they'll end up with hypothermia any time soon.
A part of me envies her. I used to live for things like that. There was no greater place in the world than being surrounded by all your closest friends. I think that’s why I enjoyed high school so much. They say college is the best years of your life, and maybe it would be if my college experience didn’t get cut short. But for me now, it was being at Haven Grace Prep. Sometimes I wish I could go back to those days, and those nights.
