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The door opens only seconds after I knock, and Jace sighs in relief when he sees me. He pulls me into a tight hug and kisses my forehead. Maybe I shouldn't let him, but instead, I breathe him in, knowing this might be the last time I ever get to do that.
"Can we talk?" I ask as he pulls away.
He studies my face, and I can tell the moment he sees it because he shakes his head. "Don't."
"Jace."
"No, don't. You can't."
I try grabbing his hand but he won’t let me. "Let's just go in your room and talk."
"No!" he yells. "There's nothing to talk about because we're fine. Everything is fine."
"It's not," I tell him, dropping my tone to a whisper.
He looks like he's about to break down as he laces his fingers through his hair and pulls. "Why are you doing this? You said you wouldn't do this!"
"Because I can't help you."
"You have been helping me! Don't you get that?" He throws his head back. "You can't do this! Please! You can't!"
His anger bubbles over, and he throws his fist right into the wall, but I know it's only the drugs. Jace isn't like this. Not the Jace I know. He's kind, and caring, and a bit of a pompous jerk, but the best jerk I know.
"Jace!" Carter shouts from his doorway.
Jace turns around and points at him. "You stay out of this! Haven't you done enough fucking damage for one week?"
He turns back to me, and for the first time in my life, I actually see tears welling in his eyes. "Don't leave me."
A single tear leaks out and slides down my cheek. "I have to."
His hand moves to his chest, like it's genuinely breaking his heart to have me leave him, but Becca was right. There are times where you have to put yourself first, and that's where I'm at.
"You promised," he says, sounding as broken as he looks.
I wipe my eyes with my sleeve in an attempt to make it easier to see. "I know. I'm sorry."
He doesn't stop me as I step backward, closer to the door.
"I'm so sorry."
It isn't until I open the door, that his words stop me in my tracks.
"Wait," he calls. "I'll quit."
My eyes widen, and as I look over at Carter, his are the same.
"I'll stop. I swear. Just please don't leave."
"I can't be the one to save you, Jace," I say with a shake of my head.
He looks at me with nothing but sincerity. "I don't want you to. I just want you to stand beside me while I save myself."
After hearing Jace tell him where to find the drugs he has hidden away, Carter pushes himself off the doorway and walks toward Jace's bedroom, while I go directly into Jace’s arms. He buries his face in my neck and takes a few seconds to calm down, but I know better than to believe that's all he has.
I lead Jace to his bedroom by the hand. Carter is just finding the bottle of pills when we get in there, but he's also checking the rest of the nightstand too.
"Is this it?" he asks.
