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Staring at my bedroom door,a part of me is convinced she'll walk back in. Tell me she's sorry and that she didn't mean it. But with every hour that passes, as sunlight starts shining through the blinds, I realize that's not going to happen.
She's gone.
I lost her.
Drove her away at lightning speed.
I don't even know how long it's been since she left. I've been sitting on my bed, unable to move. Unable to think of anything other than her. Memories of the last year play through my mind like my own personal torture chamber. I can't escape it. All I can do is sit here and drown in my failure.
My heart lurches at the sound of a knock on my door, but when it opens and Zayn peeks his head in, it's as if it breaks all over again.
“You still coming with me today?” he asks.
Fuck, I almost forgot I promised Z I'd help him pick out an engagement ring. With Amelia in class all day, it's the perfect time to ditch. She'll never realize we were gone.
I stare down at my lap and nod. “Yeah. I'll be down in a bit.”
After giving myself another minute, I get up and go into the bathroom. The water runs cold as I cup it in my hands and splash it onto my face. It's a sobering feeling, knowing this isn't a bad dream or sick joke. I'm used to the nightmares, and they still send a wave of emotions through me, but at least I can wake up from those. This is worse.
As I get downstairs, I can hear Amelia talking Zayn's ear off in the kitchen. Something about Carter being a moron for messing things up with Tye, and how she loves them both. I make my way into the room and immediately go over to the coffee pot—though it's not like I'm tired.
“I swear, we better not have to choose between them,” she says. “I won't do it. I refuse.”
He chuckles and presses a kiss to her forehead. “No one is making you choose anything.”
“You say that now.” She turns around and pushes herself up to sit on the island. “Is Kennedy almost ready? She's supposed to help me go over my presentation before class.”
My stomach twists into a knot. If I wasn't so out of it, I'd probably be able to come up with something, but what good would that do? She's going to find out eventually.
“She's not here,” I tell her.
My sister's brows furrow. “Well, where did she go? She was here last night. Don't think you're quiet in there. Your headboard is going to end up going through the wall one of these days.”
Everything she says is only making it worse. She doesn’t have to worry about that anymore, because there's no more Kennedy and me. She finally figured out that I don't deserve her to even look my direction, let alone be with me. I will forever kick myself in the ass for fucking this up.
“We broke up.”
The second the words leave my mouth, everything goes dead silent. Even Zayn, who was mid-sip into his coffee, freezes. Amelia's jaw hangs slack for at least a solid thirty seconds before she starts to laugh.
“Okay, don't play with me like that. It's not funny.”
I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. “I'm not kidding. She left in the middle of the night, right after we ended things.”
Without a second thought, Amelia jumps off the counter and smacks me in the arm. “Have you lost your mind? That girl is the best thing to ever happen to you! Hell, she's the best thing to ever happen to me!” She spares a quick glance at Zayn. “No offense.”
I try to ignore her. To act like the conversation isn’t happening. But I should've known she would never let me get away with that. I can practically hear the gears turning in her head.
“Oh no,” she groans. “Please tell me I'm not going to have to choose between the two of you, too!”
“No one is making you choose between anyone, Meelz,” Zayn tries.
She scoffs. “You say that now, but then next thing you know, Tye and Kennedy won't be in the same room as Carter and Easton and I'm going to have to choose between them! It's going to be a disaster!”
“Okay, stop,” I demand. “There's no way in hell Carter will let this be the end of him and Tye. He's way too fucking gone for that girl. They'll be back together by next week, I'm sure.”
“And you and Kennedy?”
Dropping my head, I look away. “That's different.”
