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I don't answer that, because lately, I don't know what to expect from him. He's so all over the place, it's hard to keep track. One minute he's fine, and the next he's proposing to me in a way that could be found in the “don't” section of The Do's and Don'ts of Marriage Proposals and buying a puppy, like we don't have enough responsibilities right now.
But still, it goes back to him and the fact that he's trying. He's putting in an effort, and he's not giving up, no matter how hard I push back. There's something to be said about his determination to not leave me alone with this baby.
Our baby.
I sigh as I toss the ointment back into the drawer and kick it closed. Leaning against the wall across from Easton, I cross my arms over my chest and hope to hell I don't regret this.
“I have an appointment next week at the OB/GYN,” I tell him. “Come with me if you want to.”
He breaks into a face-splitting grin, one that he can't contain no matter how hard he tries. “Really?”
“Really.”
Resting his head in his hands, he exhales slowly like he's just been given the best present in his life. “I'll be there. I promise.”
I'll believe it when I see it.
Maybe that's harsh of me, but I won't let my guard down around him anymore, until he proves that it's safe to do so. I can't. I won't allow myself to be hurt again at the hands of him. He does too much damage.
I walk back to the door with Easton in tow, a silent message that I want him to leave. Just as I open it and he goes to step out, he stops.
“Thank you,” he says with the most conviction I've ever seen come from him. “For giving me another chance, even though I know I don't deserve one.”
He doesn't.
That much is true.
But that doesn't mean my heart hasn't stayed firmly in his possession, even when I wished it wasn’t.
