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He thrusts into me again and again while making sure I feel as much pleasure as possible. It doesn't take long until the familiar pressure builds in my core. I arch my hips up to grind against him, and he pleases me by pushing down with the same amount of force. It's like he's prepared for me to just use him as my own personal dildo, taking what I want and not apologizing for it.
“You feel incredible,” he says as he bends down to kiss me. “I love feeling you like this. Raw and with nothing in between us.”
My impending orgasm is doused in an instant as I realized why we're able to be like this. The reason we're here. The reason we shouldn't be doing this. The reason we can't.
There's no need for a condom when you're already pregnant.
“Stop,” I croak.
His movements halt as he looks at me, bewildered. “What?”
“Please, stop,” I repeat. “I need you to stop.”
He pulls out and gets off me without hesitation, but he watches me like I'm a caged animal and ready to run at the slightest movement. “Did I do something wrong?”
I shake my head as I start to cry again, because even now, he's being so perfect. He's been wanting nothing but this—me—and the second he gets it I take it away again, but he's still a gentleman. He still stopped the second I asked him to, asking questions after not before.
“No,” I say sadly. “You're perfect.”
“Then what's wrong?” He lays on his side next to me.
“It's the baby.”
His eyes widen and panic covers his face. “Oh my God. I didn't hurt you, did I? Do I need to take you to the hospital?”
I put a hand on his face to calm him down. “Relax. The baby is fine.”
“You're sure?”
“Yes, I'm sure.”
He exhales. “Okay. Then what's the problem? Why'd you want to stop?”
I pull my eyes off of him and stare at the ceiling. “The problem is us. God, Easton. It's so easy to get lost in you again. To just fall back into this like nothing bad ever happened.”
“So, why don't you?”
“Because I can't,” I admit. “It's not just us anymore. There's a baby we need to put first here. We can't just dive head first back into everything with no repercussions. For all we know, I could have the baby, and you could decide you don't want to be a father.”
Reaching out, he places his hand on my stomach that's starting to have an unmistakable bump. “I won't.”
“You don't know that,” I counter.
“I do.”
“You still have your out. I'm not taking it back.”
He shakes his head and smiles. “I don't want it. I want this. I want you and our baby. Ken, I asked you to marry me.”
I roll my eyes. “Because you didn't want to lose me.”
“No. Because I didn't want to lose either of you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
He's saying all the right things, and so much of me wants to just believe him. I want to take his word for it and just throw myself back into this without looking back. But I can't. I need to protect myself, because this baby needs the best, and you can't pour from a broken glass.
“I'm sorry,” I tell him honestly.
For a moment, I expect an argument. A glimpse of the Easton that gets angry when he doesn't get his way. But I don't see any of that. Instead, he just bends down and gives me one more gentle kiss.
