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She blows a kiss to Kennedy and heads for the door, and Zayn pats me on the shoulder as he follows dutifully. My hold on my girlfriend tightens as I watch them leave, knowing what's coming.
Sure enough, the second the door closes behind them she takes a deep breath, almost as if she's committing the feeling to memory, then removes herself from my embrace. Her head drops as she makes her way up the stairs.
“Kennedy,” I plead as I follow behind her.
No answer. She carries the flowers upstairs and into my bedroom before tossing the bouquet down on my bed. Her hands rub over her face, and I can tell she's trying to keep herself from crying.
“Babe,” I try again. “Please. I'm trying to fix this.”
She scoffs. “And you think flowers are the way to do that? I found out that months of our relationship have been a lie, and you think flowers are just going to make it all better?”
“Of course not! But I'm trying here.” I sit down on my bed and take a breath to try to calm myself. “You're acting like I cheated on you. I told you, nothing happened.”
“So you keep claiming, but what I want to know is why were you sneaking around with her then?” She crosses her arms over her chest and holds her head high. “If you weren't sleeping with her—which I only believe because she's still happily in a relationship last time I checked—then what the hell were you doing?”
My mouth opens and closes, trying to think of an excuse, but if I have any shot at fixing this, I need to give her at least somewhat of the truth.
“She's been helping me through some things,” I confess.
Kennedy flinches like my words hit the weakest spot she has. “The nightmares you have?”
Fuck. “That's part of it.”
Her eyes fill with tears as she runs her fingers through her hair. “So, instead of confiding in your girlfriend, who has done nothing but try to help you, you decide it's better to fuck off with your ex. That's great, E. Just great.”
She turns around and grabs her books. Everything feels so broken as I watch her go to leave. I can't let her walk out that door right now, because the fear that she might never come back is getting increasingly real by the second.
“Ken,” I say, reaching out for her.
She shrugs off my touch and turns around, her piercing glare on me through bloodshot eyes. “Don't.” She takes a step into the hallway before stopping once more. “You know, I honestly would have preferred you sleeping with her. That would have hurt less than this.”
I stay at the top of the steps and watch as she walks out the front door, not once looking back. The moment she's gone, I go back into my room and find the bouquet of flowers still lying on my bed. I pick them up and admire their beauty before chucking them with all the force I can manage.
I'm going to lose her.
I can feel it.
