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The silence takes over. This time, however, it’s awkward, and I fucking hate it. Finally, the question on my mind all morning comes out of my mouth before I have a chance to stop it.
“Is she your girlfriend? That woman from yesterday?”
He grimaces and shakes his head. “No. God, no. Blaire is just my publicist.”
I’d be lying if I said I’m not the slightest bit relieved. “Oh. She’s pretty.”
“Pretty psychotic,” he quips. “Colby hooked up with her once, and she was talking wedding dresses by the next day.”
“Yikes. Poor Colby.”
His snort alleviates some of the disgustingly thick tension. “Not poor Colby. He knew the shit he was walking into when he decided to sleep with her. He’s heard the rumors.”
I tilt my head from side to side. “Okay, then he asked for it. But she works for you. You’ve never considered it?”
He shakes his head with utmost certainty. “She’s great at her job, but I wouldn’t touch her with a laser pointer, let alone my dick.”
An involuntary laugh bubbles out of my mouth, and somehow, it makes me feel better. I watch as Asher’s shoulders relax at the sound.
“Listen,” he starts. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I didn’t mean to make you feel like what happened Saturday night was your fault.”
“It’s fine.” I wave him off, but he’s not having it.
“It’s not. You did nothing to deserve any of it, and I shouldn’t have thrown it in your face like that.” He sighs and leans back in his chair. “The sight of you half conscious and completely defenseless in that bed is burned into my brain. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if something had happened to you.”
Walking over to him, I lace my fingers into his hair. “But it didn’t. You made sure of that.”
His gaze locks with mine, as if he’s trying to get some kind of read on me. “What happened, Tessa?”
It doesn’t take an explanation for me to know what he’s talking about, and just like that, I’m retreating into the safe space inside my head.
“Nothing. I told you. I wasn’t in my right mind.”
He rolls his eyes with an attitude. “Oh, come on. You can’t actually expect me to believe that, can you? Hearing the way you said what you did that night, you had the most honesty I’ve ever heard in your voice. It wasn’t nonsense.”
I back away and shake my head. “Why can’t you just leave it alone? It happened! It’s over now!”
“What happened?”
“Nothing!” I shout, not caring that we’re at school where people can hear us. “Fucking Christ, Asher. Let it go!”
He stands up and starts pacing the room, then turns to look at me again. “How do you always stay so damn guarded all the time?”
I mask my vulnerability the best way I know how—with sass and sarcasm. “It’s a practiced skill.”
“Clearly.”
Everything in me is telling me to leave, but for some reason, I stay in place. It’s like I want to fight with him. I want him to press me for information I’m not willing to give. I want to see the look on his face as he tries to figure me out. The only thing I’m not willing to do is tell him what happened. If I do, he’ll be just another person who sees me as broken. Fragile. Weak. And I’m anything but porcelain. I have to stay strong.
“So, that’s just it? You’re not going to tell me?” he tries again. “You’ll just keep your secrets locked away for good?”
I shrug. “It’s worked well so far.”
His hand is clenched in a tight fist, like he’s ready to punch the closest wall. Though, I don’t recommend it. All the walls in this place are rock solid. Trust me, I’d know.
“You’re fucking infuriating, you know that?”
Yes. “Me? You’re the one obsessing over something that doesn’t concern you!”
