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“Kayleigh.” He warns, still not making eye contact with me. “Why?” When I don’t say anything, he continues. “Was it because of me?”
“Not exactly.”
“Because of her? The girl you saw me with?”
I swallow before answering. “Yes.”
Holden stands, pacing around the room while I stay frozen on my bed. “Okay, well we need to get you back on track – starting with this muffin.”
My breathing starts to quicken as my chest becomes tight. Fuck. My eyes widen as I look back and forth between Holden and the muffin. I’m going to have to eat this, and then I’m going to get fat again. He’s going to go back to making out with perfectly skinny girls and leave me all alone. I can’t. I won’t.
He drops to his knees in front of me, knocking the muffin out of my sight and onto the floor.
“Baby. Babe. Breathe. Look at me.” He takes my head into his hands. “You’re fine. Everything is good, yeah? There’s nothing to worry about.”
I can hear him, but his words don’t matter. The only thing I can focus on is gasping for air, feeling like each breath I take isn’t nearly enough. I lie down, suddenly feeling lightheaded. Holden gets behind me, wrapping his one arm around me while he uses the other hand to run his fingers through my hair. It takes a while, but I finally manage to calm down.
“I’m sorry.” I whisper, bringing his hand to my mouth and kissing his knuckles.
He hums, letting a few more seconds of silence pass before he speaks. “You don’t need to apologize. This is bigger than you. I’m just not sure if I’m enough to help you beat it.”
Chapter Twenty Two
The alcohol courses through my bloodstream as the walls shake from the music. My body sways to the beat, moving rhythmically against Holden. His hands are on my waist as he holds me close to him.
“I’m going to miss you.” He mumbles as he kisses my neck.
“No.” I shush
him. “No talking about that.”
He chuckles, sliding his hands down until his thumbs rest just inside my pant line. I roll my eyes playfully as I grab his hands and pull him into the kitchen. He comes willingly.
“Kayleigh!” Jason mocks. “What have you done to my boy?!”
“What do you mean?” I question.
“I mean he’s following you around like a lost puppy.”
I’m about to deny it when Holden nuzzles into my neck. I smile, turning my head to look at him.
“Kiss me.” He pouts. I coo and place a kiss on his puckered lips.
“What can I say? He’s a… clingy drunk.” I tell Jason.
Lately, Holden and I haven’t been able to keep our hands off each other. Tomorrow, we’re both leaving for winter break and we’ll be spending the next ten days apart. Needless to say, we’re both dreading it.
I kiss Holden a couple more times before telling him I’ll be right back. He nods, promising he’ll stay right where he is. He’s been doing his best to show me that I can trust him, and I’ve been loving every minute of it.
As I head back to the bathroom, I see a girl standing unnecessarily close to him. She’s giggling and placing her hand on his arm. I can feel myself growing angry. I can’t walk away for five minutes without someone trying to make a move on him.
“How about we get out of here?” I hear her say as soon as I’m within earshot.
“No thanks. I’m having fun.” He answers, trying to let her down easy.
She steps closer, hooking her fingers through his belt loops. “We could have more fun upstairs.”
Holden places his cup down on the counter before grabbing her wrists. He removes her hands from him and places them back down at her side.
