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I glance over at my boyfriend. Getting a better look at him, I see he’s a lot more worked up than I’d originally realized. I sigh, standing up and turning towards him. I put my hands out for him to take, and when he does, I pull him up and wrap my arms around him. He hugs me back, immediately kissing the top of my head.
“I’m sorry.” I whisper.
Holden sighs. “I’m just really worried. You mean more to me than anyone, and I don’t want something to happen to you.”
The intense emotions in the moment cause me to choke up a little. “I’ll get better. Just promise you won’t tell anyone else.”
He nods. “I promise.”
OVER THE NEXT FEW
days, I put a lot of thought into my actions. Since I started restricting again, I’ve lost over ten pounds. The feeling I get when I step onto the scale and see I weigh less, is a high that I can’t explain. However, now, I not only have to hide it from Holden, but I have Dawson watching my every move as well.
Bree and I have started hanging out more, kind of like how it was in September. She introduces me to a few of the friends she’s made. They’re not exactly the kind of people I’d choose to be friends with, but if I’m going to use Bree as an excuse to spend time away from Holden – I don’t have much of a choice.
“Hey.” Bree greets me, approaching the counter at Dolce.
I smile. “What’s up?”
“Paige and Addison want to go to the party tonight at Phi Sigma Alpha.”
I cringe, knowing that out of all the fraternities on campus, that one happens to be Kappa Delta Phi’s biggest rival. None of them ever go to the same parties and when they do, it’s not pretty.
“I don’t know.” I reply hesitantly.
She gives me puppy dog eyes. “Please? I don’t want to go without you.”
It takes a little bit of begging on her part, but I reluctantly agree to go. Dawson, who overheard everything, comes over to me as soon as she leaves.
“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” He asks.
I shrug. “It’s just a party.”
Dawson snorts. “Don’t let Holden find out.”
The thought of his reaction makes me feel sick to my stomach. He would absolutely lose it if he knew where I’m going tonight. While Taylor was dating Caleb, she went to one of their parties and almost got drugged.
I’ll be okay, I just need to be careful.
PARTIES AT HOLDEN’S FRATERNITY are always crazy, but this one makes those look like a one year old’s birthday. The music is so loud I can hardly hear myself think. Everyone’s drinking hard liquor instead of vodka, and I’m pretty sure I saw at least three kinds of drugs being passed around.
“This place is nuts.” Addison remarks, looking around like a kid at a candy store.
I roll my eyes, sharing a knowing look with Bree. “Just remember what we talked about. Get your own drinks, don’t take your eyes off it, and tell one of us before you go off with a guy.”
Paige and Addison both nod before linking arms and excitedly navigating through the crowd. Bree laughs, knowing how they are. She has another goal though - to find a boyfriend. I had offered to help her find one at Holden’s frat, but she politely declined. I don’t blame her. That would be kind of weird.
“Here.” A guy with spiked black hair hands me a drink. I smile politely as I take it but don’t take a sip. “Aren’t you going to drink it?”
I shake my head. “I’m not really thirsty.”
He scoffs, taking the cup from me and walking off to find someone else to give it to. The whole thing gives me the creeps. I can only imagine what’s in that drink, or what he plans on doing to whoever ingests it.
“You okay?” Bree inquires.
I nod and wrap my arm through hers, suddenly feeling cowardice. Thankfully, she doesn’t care. The two of us make our way to the kitchen to get our own drinks, both looking around like we’re in some kind of carnival sideshow.
I’ve seen my fair share of crazy shit this year, but this trumps everything I’ve ever experienced by far. People are doing more shots than I can count, while others are snorting lines of coke off the countertop. It’s like a train wreck, and I just can’t look away.
