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He laughs softly, lacing his fingers into my hair before pulling me in for a kiss. There’s no rush in it, or even any intentions. Just a slow kiss between two people in love. If I thought coke gave me a high, this feeling puts that to shame. My mood falters slightly at the thought of the drug.
Would he still love me if he knew what I’ve been up to lately?
Chapter Twenty Six
I don’t know which is worse, studying for finals or dreading the upcoming summer. Since spring break, Holden and I have been closer than ever. The thought of not seeing him every day makes me sick to my stomach. We promised we’ll visit each other, but I just hope it’ll be enough.
Rubbing my eyes tiredly, I kick the book off the bed and onto the floor. Holden looks up at me, confused at first but then coos.
“You’re adorable when you’re cranky.”
I narrow my eyes at him, though I’m only able to stay serious for a few seconds before he makes me laugh.
“If I study any more, my head is going to explode.”
Holden makes a face before he closes his book and leaves it on the desk. He walks over to the bed, leaning over and caging me in.
“We wouldn’t want that to happen, would we?” He asks.
I shake my head. “It’d be really messy.”
He hums an acknowledgement. “Brains everywhere.”
We both chuckle softly before our lips meet in a tender kiss. His hand brushes my cheek as his lips move against mine. I grip his shoulder-blades, before falling back and pulling him down with me. He grinds down against me immediately.
“God, I love you.” He whispers as soon as he breaks the kiss.
I smile, kissing him once more before responding. “I love you, too.”
As he connects our lips again, I run my nails down his back – light enough to not cause pain, but hard enough to be felt. He arches his back, causing his hardening length to rub against me through our clothing.
“I need you.” He breathes.
I kiss across his cheek until my lips are at his ear. “What’s stopping you?”
My tongue darts out from my mouth, getting a hold of his earlobe and teasing it lightly between my teeth. He moans at the contact, pressing harder against me. His hand slides under my shirt, caressing my side as it moves upward. His touch lingers with every contact, igniting my nerve endings like wild fire.
“You’re perfect.” He says softly, just before he removes my shirt and kisses down my body - loving me in the best way he knows how.
I TAKE THE BAGGIE out of my locket, pouring it out onto the desk. Using the rolled-up bill, I snort the line in one fluid motion. Jade gets up from her bed, coming over and doing the same. The euphoria washes over me.
“Are you ready for finals?” She questions.
A low groan escapes from the back of
my throat. “Is anyone ever ready for finals?”
Jade laughs. “Touché.”
I strip down to my bra and underwear before walking over to her scale. The only time I’m ever able to weigh myself is at her dorm. Holden had read something about a scale being triggering. Therefore, I’m not allowed to have one.
Stepping on, I wait for the number to appear – 115. I smile brightly. The last time I weighed this much, I was thirteen. I walk in front of the full-length mirror, looking over the changes. My collar bones are more defined and my waist is perfectly thin. Still though, my thighs are bigger than I would like. I say as much to Jade.
“You should run.” She answers as a solution.
I ponder it for a moment before agreeing. “That’s a good idea. Want to come?”
She shakes her head. “I have more studying to do. Have fun though.”
