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Chapter 1
Iwalk down the hallway, holding my phone to my ear but not listening to the voice coming through it. As I enter my room, Bree is already there. She runs toward me, hugging me excitedly. I return the sentiment, then put up one finger, indicating for her to hold on.
"Mom, I have to go. Bree's here."
She sighs. "Okay, well promise me you'll stick to your recovery."
"I promise." I reply, trying to sound discreet.
"And if you feel like you may relapse, call me and I'll come there as soon as I can."
"That's really not necessary."
"Kayleigh." She warns. "I mean it."
I roll my eyes. "Okay, mom."
"I love you."
"Love you, too."
I hang up the phone and toss it on my bed, happy that's over with. All summer it's been as if she finally decided to act like a mother. Funny, it took her daughter getting a drug addiction and starving herself for her to give a shit.
Summer vacation was nothing like I thought it would be. The first eight weeks were spent in inpatient rehab, and the three after that consisted of outpatient therapy every other day. My mom and step-father took extreme precautions, only letting me out of the house with supervision. Thank God for Emily. She spent almost every day cooped up in my room with me.
Therapy has been helpful though. It's taught me that my addictions are something that will never fully go away. They're always going to be looming in the back of my mind, ready to come back at the slightest slip up. I need to stay consciously aware of my actions in order to remain in recovery. My mother made it crystal clear that if I mess up once, they'll be pulling my tuition and making me come home. Needless to say, I refuse to let that happen.
"How was your summer?!" Bree asks. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."
I chuckle. "It was 12 weeks, but who's counting?"
The two of us catch up while unpacking, though it’s not like we didn't text this summer – well, when I had my phone, anyway. It's refreshing to be back here, away from the prying eyes of my parents watching my every move. I feel like I can breathe again.
Bree gushes about her new boyfriend. One of the guys she met in class last year started messaging her over the break. He even went to visit her, making their relationship official only a few weeks ago. It's some junior named Carson.
"I want to meet him." I tell her.
"You will! He's coming by tonight." She responds happily.
BY THE TIME WE'RE done putting everything away, Bree mentions having to go to the registrar's office. Apparently taking five classes this semester isn't enough for her. She wants to add another. I agree to go with her, not really wanting to be alone just yet.
The two of us walk down sidewalk as the warm breeze blows through our hair. It's warm enough to not need a jacket, but cold enough to not be uncomfortable - the perfect weather for jeans and a tank top. One thing I've learned in counseling, is to enjoy the little things. So, that's exactly what I'm doing.
I wait as Bree adds the class to her schedule. Thankfully, it doesn't take long. She already knew exactly which one she wanted to register for, cutting down more than half the waiting time. When she's finished, the two of us walk out the door.
"How about you leave decisions to me, and you just work on recruiting pledges."
I freeze, knowing exactly who that voice belongs to. The same voice I haven't heard since the day he dropped me off at rehab. No matter how many times he tried to see me, I wouldn't budge.
"Miss Jacobs? You have a visitor." The nurse tells me.
I look at her from where my head rests on the tear soaked pillow. "Who is it?"
She glances down at the chart. "Holden Rivers."
I roll over, facing away from the door. "Tell him to leave."
"Are you sure? This is the third time this week he's tried to see you."
"I don't want him here. Please, just tell him to go."
After about the seventh time of refusing his visit, he finally stopped trying. John mentioned at one point that he went home. It didn't surprise me. He could only stay for so long. One thing I hadn't expected, however, was the lack of messages from him when I got my phone back. I'm sure he knew when I was getting out, but still, he never reached out.
I turn, looking around until my eyes spot the silky brown hair. It's styled up in a quiff, kept away from his forehead. He looks different, a little tired even. His face is scruffier than I remember, but he's still the same Holden. Just as his eyes meet mine, a girl walks up to him. He breaks the eye contact with me to look at her, smiling before putting his arm over her shoulders. My heart sinks at the sight.
"You know, you still never told me what happened with you two." Bree mentions.
I sigh. "It's a long story."
It's really not, I just haven't thought of what to tell anyone. I mean, it's not like I'm itching for people to know I'm a recovering drug addict. I just haven't thought of a good enough excuse, yet.
"I heard he's president of Kappa Delta Phi now, and captain of the hockey team."
I admire his smile from afar, missing when it used to be directed at me. Even from way back here, I can tell he still has his irresistible charm.
No, Kayleigh. Don't go there.
"That doesn't surprise me." I reply.
Holden says goodbye to the gro
up of people, leading the girl he's with away. She's getting dirty looks from every jealous girl around, but she seems unaffected. As they walk past Bree and I, Holden looks at me and winks.
"Ugh." I groan as soon as they are out of earshot. "What the hell did I see in him?!"
