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THREE DAYS LATER, I still can't stop thinking about Sunday. The way he kissed me in the dark laser tag arena, and how he couldn't keep his hands off me for the rest of the night. Just thinking about it ignites my nerve endings like wildfire.
"Thanks for the ride, Daws." I climb out of his car after a long day at work. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Count on it." He answers.
I enter the building and climb up the stairs to my dorm. Bree is at Carson's, so I have the place to myself tonight. I lock the door behind me and make quick work of changing out of my uniform and into sweats. Once I'm done, I get into bed and grab my phone, sending a quick text to Holden.
Me: Home safely and in bed.
His response is immediate.
Holden: Wrong bed.
I can't fight the smile that his words bring. However, I don't know what we are. We're definitely not friends with benefits like last year. It's more than that. Yet, we still haven't talked about it. Every time I'm near him, I can't manage to make the words come out of my mouth and he never mentions it either. It's frustrating, but at the same time, the way he acts around me feels like enough.
Lying in bed, I use my computer to watch a few episodes of Friends while I scroll through Twitter. When I come across a picture of a familiar face, my breath hitches. The picture is recent – posted yesterday. It's some girl with short blonde hair, but that's not what catches my attention. Holden is in the picture, and he's kissing her cheek. I scroll back up to see the tweet along with it.
"Saw this cutie today. I can't wait until Friday. See you at your game @Holden_Rivers!"
My chest tightens and the longer I look at it, the sicker I feel. I don't know what to say or do. Is this why we haven't gotten back together yet? Is he back to old habits? My heart rate starts to quicken and my breathing becomes labored – the telltale signs of an incoming anxiety attack.
I put my phone down and shut my computer before trying to fall asleep. No matter what I do though, the picture is burned into my mind. They both looked so happy and carefree. Meanwhile, he had been texting me that entire day. I'm such an idiot.
An hour passes and I'm still not able to fall asleep. When I can't take my thoughts anymore, I decide to try an old remedy – running. Even though it's almost one in the morning, I slip my sneakers on and pull a sweatshirt over my head. Once I'm ready, I head out the door.
The ground moves quickly beneath my feet. It feels like I'm running away from every negative thought and feeling. Every time my feet hit the pavement, it all gets further and further away. I've missed this.
After 20 minutes, I look up to find that I unknowingly ran to the exact place I need to be – Kappa Delta Phi. I stand on the sidewalk for a second to let myself breathe, wondering what I should do. Some of the lights are still on, but Holden's isn't. What if he's out with her?
'Go in there and figure all of this out, once and for all.' My subconscious tells me.
Before I can second guess myself, I start walking toward the front door. I go into the house and up the stairs, ignoring Caleb entirely when he asks me if everything's okay. I barge into Holden's room, only to find him in his bed, completely alone. The lights are off, but the moonlight is shining through the window.
He wakes, pushing himself up and looking back at the door to see the cause of the commotion. Once he sees me, he reaches over and turns on the lamp.
"Kayleigh?" He asks, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"
"What are we?" I ask impatiently, not giving myself any time to change my mind. This needs to happen.
Holden leans on his arm and looks at me confused. "What?"
"You and I, what are we? Are we just having sex like last year?"
"We haven't had sex."
I roll my eyes and cross my arms. "Don't pay dumb with me. You know exactly what I mean. If we're just hooking up, then fine. It's not really what I want, but I guess I can learn to live with it. What I can't live with, though, is you being with other girls, too."
"Other girls? What ot
her girls?"
I open my phone and toss it onto his bed, showing him the picture I found on Twitter. He looks at it for half a second before smirking – and it angers me to whole different level.
"What are you smirking at? This isn't a fucking joke, Holden! I'm serious. This is driving me crazy. It's been over a month of not knowing what the hell is going on and neither of us ever bring it up. I'm done with it. Are we getting back together, or aren't we?"
Throughout my entire speech, he doesn't stop smirking even for a second. Just when I'm about to storm out, he speaks.
"Kayleigh, open the locket."
