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“I do, but that doesn’t mean everything can instantly go back to normal. I need some time.”
“How much time?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “All I know is that if we leap back into this, it could end in disaster. I really, really, don’t want that to happen.”
He takes my hands back in his and pulls them into his lap. “Baby, it won’t. I won’t let it. I swear, I won’t hurt you again.”
“You said that last time, and look what happened.” I pull myself from his grip and wrap my arms around myself protectively. “I’m not leaving you, and I’m not running away. I just need time.”
He looks hurt, but ultimately understands. “You can have all the time you want. I’ll wait forever if I have to.”
“It won’t take forever.” I promise. “And I’m not going anywhere in the meantime. I need time, not space.”
“Okay, fair enough.”
I feel so relieved by how considerate he’s being. Emily was right. All it takes is talking to him and being honest. Maybe we’ll end up alright after all. I smile happily and settle next to him as he hits play. He grins in return and chuckles softly. Yeah, I think we will.
Chapter 3
The next couple of weeks crawl by. Even though we’re still broken up, I spend almost every waking moment with Holden. However, instead of being all over each other like we normally would be, I avoid intimacy entirely. It isn’t that I don’t want to get my hands on him. I crave his touch almost every second of the day. I’m just afraid that once I let him back in, he’ll think everything is okay again. I’d just rather make sure that it is, before I allow that to happen.
“You two are the strangest couple I’ve ever seen in my life.” Jason remarks, looking at us like we’re in a circus act.
I’m sitting on the island in the kitchen, waiting for Holden to get done making us an ice cream sundae. We both chuckle but ultimately ignore Jason’s comment. My eyebrows furrow when Holden starts making it wrong.
“What are you doing?! Don’t put the cherries on first! They go on top of the whipped cream. Don’t you know anything?”
He side-eyes me playfully and picks up the can of topping, but instead of putting a big pile of it in one spot, he puts little dots all around.
I throw my head back in laughter before trying to grab the can. “Okay now you’re just ruining it. Give it to me.” Moving like he’s going to hand it to me, he turns it at the last second and sprays whipped cream all over my face. I’m in shock, gaping and wiping it off my eyes. “You’re. Dead.”
The two of us break into an all-out war, with chocolate syrup and other toppings going everywhere. Holden laughs loudly as I chase him around the kitchen, ultimately slipping on the mess we’ve created. He comes over to help me up, but instead, I pull him down onto the floor with me. We giggle like children, lying on the tile floor – covered in a sticky concoction.
Caleb goes to walk into the room, but stops in the doorway. “Oh my god.” He balks. “What happened in here?”
Jason steps out from the pantry, where he ran to hide when the war broke out. “I’m telling you. They’ve both lost their damn minds. I blame the lack of sex.” Holden and I stare at him, wondering how he knows we haven’t been having sex. “Oh please.” He continues like he can read our thoughts. “You two are loud as fuck and it’s been quiet enough for me to hear Caleb lately.”
“I don’t know whether to be insulted or really freaked out.” Caleb looks at Jason, bewildered.
While Holden isn’t paying attention, I reach up and grab the bowl off the counter, flipping it over and putting it on his head. Ice cream drips down his face as Jason, Caleb, and I break out into hysterical laughter.
I PULL THE JERSEY over my head, getting ready for the hockey game. They’ve made it into the semi-finals, and winning this will send them to the finals – giving them the chance to win the NCAA Hockey Championship. To say Holden and Jason are nervous would be a massive understatement.
Holden steps into the bathroom and stops when he sees me looking into the mirror. He comes up behind me and grabs the back, tying it the way that I like. I thank him as I straighten out the shoulders.
“I’m really glad you’re still wearing it.” He whispers.
I turn my focus from myself, to his reflection staring back at me. “I told you I’m not going anywhere.”
“Oh, I know. We’re going to get married. Everyone knows it.” His confidence is overwhelming, and a bit sexy.
I don’t respond, instead choosing to laugh and roll my eyes.
Not saying anything else, he places a quick kiss on my cheek and walks away. I stand there, holding my hand against where his lips just were and basking in the way it felt. I’ll admit, I miss being with him, and every day he makes it easier to let my guard down again.
WE’RE WALKING INTO THE arena, and I can see Holden shaking with every step he takes. Jason’s nervous too, but Holden is the captain – which makes him feel the pressure of all this tenfold. Jos
ephine eyes him carefully as he fidgets with his hands.
