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“Holden!” My head whips over to look at her, seeing the panicked look on her face when she realizes what’s in my hand. “Holden.” She repeats as if I’m standing on a ledge. “Give that to me, please.”
She comes towards me, but I move backwards. “What is this, Kayleigh?”
“None of your business. Give it back.” She lunges to grab the book but I keep it out of reach.
“Not until you explain!” My frustration is evident but I can’t help it. I’m concerned.
She realizes she isn’t getting anywhere with trying to take it from me, so she sits on her bed and sighs. “What do you think it is?”
“I don’t know what to think. That’s why I’m asking you.”
She motions to Bree’s bed and I sit down, still holding it tightly. “I don’t eat.” She breathes. “And what I do eat, I keep record of inside that book.”
My breath hitches, not really knowing what to say. Why would she do this? Doesn’t she see how perfect she is? No matter how much I rack my brain, it makes no sense.
“Why?”
She shrugs. “I don’t like the way I look.”
“I don’t understand. You’re beautiful.” Her eyes double in size and I realize what I said. “I mean, you look fine.”
She clearly doesn’t want to hear it, because she shakes her head. “Please don’t start, Holden. I’ve heard all of this before.”
“But this is dangerous! You could die!”
Her eyes roll. “Heard that before too.”
Are you kidding me? So, she knows she could die, and yet she’s still doing this? Does she not give a shit about the people who care about her? The people who love her? My anger bubbles over to the point where I can’t contain it.
“Fine.” I sneer and chuck the journal onto her bed. “Do whatever you fucking want. Who gives a shit what happens to you anyway?”
Instantly regretting my words, I leave the room and slam the door behind me – however, I lean my back against it. Sounds of soft sobs come from behind the door and I consider going back in, but I can’t. She doesn’t want my comfort anyway, so with that, I walk away.
AS SOON AS I get back to my place, they’re already setting up for the party tonight. A part of me wants to stay in my room, but I think Bree is actually coming tonight and I haven’t seen her in a couple of days. Jason is carrying one of the kegs into the kitchen, so I step out of his way.
“Don’t trip.” I joke, trying to keep my emotions in check. Caleb walks in behind him, looking annoyed. “You alright?”
“Yeah, Taylor is just getting on my last nerve.”
My eyebrows furrow. “You haven’t broken up with her yet?”
He shakes his head. “I plan on doing it tonight, after the party. She’s insisting there’s someone else. I don’t want her to show up and cause a scene tonight.”
“Is there someone else?”
“Nah. She simply can’t accept the fact that our issues are partially her fault.”
“Sounds like her.” I chuckle and Caleb nods in agreement.
THE MUSIC IS LOUDLY pounding throughout the house. I stay in the kitchen, where it’s easier to hear those around me. I’m listening to Jason rave about the girl he plans on getting with tonight, when an unexpected face stands before me.
“Hey Holden.” She greets.
I need to stop myself from rolling my eyes. “Laci. Didn’t know I’d see you here tonight.”
“Well, you know me. I’ve always been one for surprises.”
The way she bats her eyelashes at me makes me wonder if she even realizes that I only dated her to develop my social status. We broke up over a year ago and yet, she still shows up every now and then. It’s obvious she thinks our relationship meant more than it did.
