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“I know, that’s part of the problem. We’re going in two separate directions here. You’re falling in love with me, and I’m not really feeling us anymore.” I put my hand on her shoulder and am thankful when she doesn’t shrug it off. “You deserve someone so much better than me.”
She shakes her head. “There isn’t anyone better than you.”
“There is. You’re going to find someone who loves you the way you love them, and you’re going to be so much happier. You’re going to think, Holden who? Oh, I hate that douchebag.”
A wet laugh bubbles out of her mouth and she once again dries her face with her sleeves. “I don’t think I could ever hate you.”
“But you admit I’m a douchebag.” I tease. She rolls her eyes playfully but doesn’t respond. After a couple minutes of silence, I sigh. “I really am sorry. I’d like to at least stay friends, but I get it if you don’t want that.”
“I don’t know.” She responds honestly. “It’s at least going to take some time.” Her body leans over the center console and she kisses my cheek before climbing out of the car. Just as she’s about to close the door, she bends down to look at me. “And Holden?” I look back at her. “Whoever she is, I hope she knows she’s a really lucky girl.”
I’m about to deny her allegations, but she doesn’t give me the opportunity. She shuts the car door and walks away, into her dorm building. I can’t ignore the heavy weight in my stomach. I didn’t want to hurt her, but I also couldn’t give up my chance with Kayleigh. With one last deep breath, I pull out of the parking space and drive back to my place.
THE WATER RUNS STEADILY as I look up at the star filled sky. It’s 8:50 and I’m waiting to see if Kayleigh shows up. I texted her earlier to meet me here at nine. She never responded, but I saw she read it. I figure if she comes, it means I have a chance and if she doesn’t, I’m just going to have to move on. I’m sure by now she knows I broke up with Bree, so any excuse she had not to be with me is gone.
The sound of someone approaching causes my heart to pound in my chest. I turn my head to see her coming towards me. She’s wearing a pair of jeans and an oversized jacket that looks like it could swallow her whole. I think she finds comfort in wearing bigger clothes.
I attempt to smile, but between my nerves and the left-over feelings from hurting Bree, it comes out looking pitiful. Speaking of Bree…
“How is she?” I question.
She slides her hands into her jacket pockets and shrugs. “Honestly? A mess.” My heart sinks again. I really wish she would have realized how much of an ass I am before she fell in love with me. “She doesn’t understand why.”
I exhale, sitting down on the ground and crossing my legs. She does the same. “I guess she didn’t buy what I told her.”
She eyes me carefully. “What exactly did you tell her?”
“That I just wasn’t feeling it anymore.” I explain, tossing the rock in my hand into the creek.
“Oh… Is that really why you did it?”
“Kind of.” Okay, time for honesty. “The more I thought about not having you, the more I resented her for it. I just figure if I’m like this now, why put off the inevitable?”
She doesn’t say anything, but I can see the gears turning in her head. I use the moment to get a good look at her. The way her hair is tousled like she just ran her fingers through it, and how the light hits her face – she’s strikingly beautiful. When the silence becomes too much, I take her hand in mine and pull it into my lap.
“Holden.” She whispers. “What are we doing?”
I rub my free hand over my face, trying to calm myself down. “I don’t know. All I know is that I like being around you, and I don’t want to stop.”
“I don’t want to either.” She admits, and goosebumps to rise across my entire body. “But I also don’t want to end up being the next girl you cheat on. I respect myself too much for that.” I’m about to tell her how wrong she is but she stops me by placing her finger over my mouth. I can’t resist kissing it. A slight blush coats her cheeks when I do. “Let’s not ruin a good thing by complicating it.”
Her words confuse me. She doesn’t want to be with me but she’s also not running away. “Okay. So, what are we then?”
“Friends?” She suggests.
I smirk. “With benefits?”
She chuckles and shakes her head, but what comes out of her mouth contradicts that. “Sure.”
A wide grin spreads across my face. I place my hand on her cheek and stare into her caramel eyes. “Does that mean I can kiss you again?”
Her breath hitches and she nods. I don’t waste any time. As soon as I have her permission, I close the gap between us and connect our lips in a heated kiss. When she gasps, I use the chance to slip my tongue into her mouth. I grip her hip with one hand and keep my other on her face, using it to pull her closer.
I extend my legs out and she straddles my lap. I moan at the contact and can feel as she smirks into the kiss. She grinds down again, causing me to tighten my hold on her and move both hands to her ass.
“You’re such a tease.” I murmur against her mouth.
She giggles and kisses me again. “You love it.”
