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“Yeah well, she relapsed because of me too so don’t go giving me too much credit.”
“Holden, I know she may have said some things in anger but you saved her life. Please don’t think anything different.”
I know he means well but nothing is helping how I feel. “It’s hard not to when she hates me.”
“Give her some time. She’ll come around.”
“I hope so. Did she say how she got into the drug in the first place?”
He nods while taking a couple beers out of the fridge, handing me one. “Yeah. She said that some girl Jade introduced her to it to help curb her appetite. From there, it just got out of hand.”
“That’s what I thought, I just wasn’t sure.”
It’s quiet as we sit down on the couch, both engrossed in our own thoughts until John speaks again. “You’re a fine young man, you know that? Your parents should be proud.”
At the mention of the two people I miss most, I feel a pang in my chest – though it doesn’t even begin to compare to the pain that’s already there from Kayleigh’s harsh words.
That night, as I lie in the large guest bed. It’s comfortable but unable to fall asleep, no matter how hard I try. Finally, when the ache becomes too much, I get up and pad across the hallway. Kayleigh’s room has been unoccupied for months but it still manages to smell like her. I get into the bed and grip her pillow, breathing in the only part of her I can have right now. It doesn’t fix my broken heart but it does distract me enough to get an hour or so of rest.
THE NEXT FEW DAYS, Kayleigh refuses all visits – whether they’re from me or her parents. Even Emily tries but has no luck with getting in. The morning after I dropped her off, I found the locket in my jacket pocket. When I opened it, a full baggie of cocaine fell out. After a short breakdown that may or may not have had me screaming at an inanimate object, I flushed the contents down the toilet and watched them disappear – hopefully never to be seen again.
The house phone rings, surprising Jessica, John, and myself. We were just sitting around eating breakfast and talking about the update they received from the doctor yesterday. He said that she’s been irritable, but that’s to be expected. There’s no sign that she can’t make a full recovery from all her addictions. However, it’s going to take work.
“Hello?” John answers. “Hi sweetheart. How are you?” My ears perk up at his words and I find myself next to him in an instant. “It’s okay. We understand. We just want you to know that we’re here for you.” His eyes meet mine and with a small nod, he confirms it’s Kayleigh. “Three o’clock? Of course, we’ll be there.” The idea of getting to see her makes my heart do backflips. “Would you like to talk to Holden?... Yeah, he’s still here.” Ugh, only being able to hear once side of this conversation is killing me. “Oh okay. We’ll see you at three then. I love you.” He hangs up the phone and gives me a sad look. “She had to get to therapy.”
My head drops
but I nod in understanding. “How did she sound?”
“Scared, but better than she did when we dropped her off.”
“That’s good.”
I STAND OUTSIDE THE glass doors, waiting for her parents to finish checking in. Just knowing I’m in the same building as her makes me feel more alive than I’ve felt in days. John comes over and takes a seat next to me.
“They said they’ll be right out to get us.”
A few minutes later, a nurse pops her head into the room.
“Family for Kayleigh Jacobs?” The three of us stand but when her eyes land on me, she frowns. “I’m sorry, sir. She only approved her mother and stepfather. I’m afraid I can’t let you in.”
My heart sinks. She doesn’t want to see me. I bite my lip to contain my emotions as John places his hand on my shoulder.
“You guys go.” I tell him with a shaky voice. “I’ll just wait at the car.”
He hands me the keys and I quickly make my exit. The last thing I need is for an entire waiting room of people to see me break. I climb into the back of the Range Rover and immediately pull out my phone, hitting speed dial number two. Holding the phone up to my ear with a shaky hand, I thank God when the call is answered on the third ring.
“Hello?”
“Brandon.” I sob.
“Holy shit! Are you crying?! What’s wrong?!”
“S-she doesn’t want to s-see me.”
“Oh, H.” He says sadly. “We knew this was a possibility.”
“Yeah but thinking it could happen and it actually happening are two totally different things. I fucked up, Bran. I fucked up big and now she hates me.”
