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“That sounds like a bad soap opera.”
“If the suds fit…” He slid his fingertip around her hoop earring, beyond grateful she was listening. That was more than he’d had any right to wish for. “Part of me hoped I could just sleep with her and nothing would have to change. I told myself you might never have to know, that we could just go on.”
“Yeah, this is the part where your murky motives poison the waters,” she muttered, making him laugh despite himself.
“I’m no saint. I never claimed to be. But I couldn’t do it.”
Her head lifted. “You couldn’t sleep with her? What did you do, back out at the last second?”
“Not exactly.” He winced. “I sort of, ah, couldn’t perform.”
“What?”
“Please don’t make me repeat that. My ego’s shriveling even as we speak.”
She covered her face with her hands, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter. “No fucking way. You couldn’t get it up?”
“Oh I got it up. It was the staying up that was an issue.” He cleared his throat and tried to chase the memory from his mind. “She wasn’t too happy.”
“Did you explain that sort of thing sometimes happens to older men?”
“I’m glad you find this so amusing.”
She doubled over, tears of mirth streaming from her eyes. “Oh my God. I never thought I’d enjoy almost being cheated on so much.”
Spencer crossed his arms over his chest. “Let me know when you’re finished.”
“I’m done.” But she kept going, snorting and giggling. “Oh wow. That’s great.”
“Not so much from over here.”
“Sorry. I know it’s a, um, sensitive issue. But I think it’s so funny.”
“I got that. Truly.”
“Not because you couldn’t. But you never had any problem with me. I mean, I had to practically beat you off most of the time.” She glanced down. “Should I expect it to be an ongoing problem now too?”
“No. I can assure you I have zero interest in sleeping with you at the moment.”
She giggled again and clapped a hand over her mouth. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve really laughed?”
“Probably about as long since I have. But I’m thinking this is more fun for you than me.”
“She’s beautiful,” she murmured, finally quieting. “Diana. She’s a gorgeous woman.”
“Yeah.”
“So what happened?”
He shrugged. “As much as I tried to convince myself what I was doing didn’t matter, I couldn’t follow through. It did matter and I couldn’t do it. Turns out my body’s not as stupid as my head sometimes.”
“She must’ve been pissed.”
“I’d say that’s a good bet. Probably why she didn’t break her agreement with me and let me hold on to my job. She just wanted to forget the whole night ever happened. She wasn’t the only one, believe me.”
“How mortifying.”
“It wasn’t one of my proudest moments. Not just not getting it up. Trying to get it up in the first place for a woman I couldn’t stand. Knowing I’d hurt you and hating myself for it. And it didn’t stop that night. Afterward, wishing I could take back what I said in my office. Dismissing you that way…” He blew out a breath. “I wanted to make you leave as quickly as possible for your sake, not mine. If I hadn’t had that little burst of conscience, I would’ve slept with you and done whatever I could to make you stay. But that wasn’t fair.”
