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Actually, they’d suggested she stay overnight, but her insurance had a big deductible before it would kick in, and she couldn’t afford it. When she’d said as much, the doctor had said she could be discharged if she promised to rest and do her breathing exercises and call if she felt at all worse. But the net result was: she hadn’t needed to stay.
“You’re coughing a lot. I don’t want to get you panting and make it worse.”
“So don’t get me panting.”
Now his expression gained a much more familiar humor. “Baby, you think I’m not gonna get you panting?”
She laughed, but cut it short when her throat began to tickle in warning. “I want you inside me, Coop. Please. I need it like medicine. I don’t even need to come. I just need to be close. I need to feel good before I have to think about ... anything else.”
He studied her for a moment, then rolled and put her beneath him. Thank god.
But when she tried to pull his head down close, he resisted her.
“Wait. I need you to know something first.”
She waited, wondering.
He was quiet, studying her seriously, and Siena began to worry. Finally he took a long breath and let it out slowly. “The fire. Law on the scene said it was arson. Somebody burned my house down and took yours with it.”
Siena had been working so desperately not to think about the fire right now that she couldn’t make sense at first.
“Law on the scene? Where?”
He cocked his head. “Our houses, Siena. Somebody burned me out on purpose, and that burned you out, too.”
“Why? Who?”
He swallowed. “I don’t know for sure who did it yet. What I’m saying is ...” He paused and looked away, focused on the pillow for so long Siena thought he’d decided not to finish the sentence. “I have enemies, babe,” he said, finally looking at her again. “The kind that will hurt me if they can. Maybe the kind that don’t consider women and children off limits. You need to understand that before we go further. There are risks to being in my life. We do everything we can to keep our family safe, but I won’t lie to you. There are risks.”
“Did they try to burn us out, too? How did they know about us?”
“I think your house was an accident. I’m just saying ...”
“Risks. I understand.”
“Do you? Are you okay with that?”
She did understand. Not everything; her head was still pretty muddled and Cooper’s life was still half mysterious to her, but she thought she understood enough. He was the president of an outlaw MC. She’d known that already. Not being a fairy princess living in a castle in the clouds, she understood what ‘outlaw MC’ meant—at least enough to know that he did dangerous things. Violent things. That sort of came with the word ‘outlaw.’ It wasn’t like they were only breaking the speed limit.
A life like that made enemies; of course it did. Enemies who also did dangerous, violent things. Cooper was telling her that being with him brought those violent dangers into her life as well. And Geneva’s life.
Siena had devoted her life to her sister. She wanted to keep her safe and well and happy. But the life they’d lived before they’d ever met Cooper Calderon had already contained more than its share of danger, illness, and suffering. She’d lived nearly every moment of the past several years afraid, and struggling, and miserable. Geneva had lived nearly every moment of the past several years the same way.
But when Cooper had entered their lives, even before they were lovers, she and Geneva had found some solace. He’d been there for them almost from the day he’d moved in next door. He was their champion.
His life was dangerous; okay. Siena would have to talk to Geneva before she could be absolutely sure, but in this moment, just for herself, in the arms of a man she ... a man sheloved, she knew what was real for her.
“It sounds like my house would have burned down last night even if we still hated each other, so being together didn’t make that happen. Besides, last fall I came within about eighteen inches of getting my brains blown out while I was at work, and that had nothing to do with you. The world is shit. Every life in it has risks and dangers.”
He shook his head. “Not like an outlaw life.”
“Maybe. But let me turn it around for a minute. You understand that, even after the surgeries, I could still die young of cancer, right? So far every woman in my family got cancer and died of it. The family average lifespan is about fifty years. My mom was forty-eight. One of my aunts died when she was thirty-seven. I’m thirty-one. The surgeries improved my odds a lot, but I couldn’t cut out the mutation. I’ve still got that. My odds of getting cancer are still higher than normal. Are you okay with that risk?”
“That’s not news to me, Siena. I looked it up after you told me. I don’t care. I never thought I wanted this, to have somebody. Now I do. I want you, and I’ll have you as long as I can.”
As his earnest words wrapped around her, her heart swelled big enough to make her ribs ache.
She slid her fingers over his cheek, through his beard. “And I thought I could live without this, but I can’t. Not fully. I was only surviving before you. And just barely. Now I have you, and even now, after losing everything, I’m really alive for the first time inyears. So I’ll take you however you come, and keep you as long as I can.”
