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Jackson appears and stands next to me. "Morning beautiful, is Leo still sleeping?" I move away from him, and he pouts. "I thought we had become friends," he says.
I’m trying very hard with Jackson; I know how his relationship is with Leo and what they’ve been through together.
“He’s in the shower,” I tell him, as I get three plates out.
“Not had French toast in forever.” He puts his finger into the syrup. “I’ve found someone, be ready for tonight,” Jackson says and I realize Leo is in the room and Jackson wasn’t talking to me.
"I'll be free." I hear him but feel him stand behind me. "Morning," he whispers, and I can feel his stubble against my neck.
I step away from him. Things are changing between us. I like Leo. I just don’t know how to move on from here. What’s next?
“Morning, would you like coffee or juice?” I ask.
“Coffee,” they both say in sync.
I feel Leo’s eyes on me, but he’s staying quiet.
“So, what did you find?” I hear him asking Jackson as they both move to the bar stools.
"I found someone that uses the site, and I'll have things ready tonight." I pour coffee into their mugs as Jackson asks, "Beautiful, can I ask a question?"
I stop pouring the coffee, and my eyes move to Leo, who's looking at Jackson. Clearing my throat, I reply, "Sure."
“How do you survive on such little food?”
“Jackson.” Leo’s voice comes out harsh.
"I'm sorry, but she needs to eat more." Jackson takes the coffee pot from me and finishes filling the mugs.
“When you were withyourbuyer, what’s the worst that happened?” The question just leaves my mouth, why have I asked this question?
Jackson lifts his head, clearly surprised by my words. “Leo protected me from all of the really fucked up stuff. I got locked in a room for three days and got beat and burned a few times,” he tells me. I know how that feels; I lived in a dark room every night.
Leo protected him, he was his savior.
Leo doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t need to. I’ve seen the scars, he might not have told me the stories about them, but I can work it out.
I take a deep breath as I decide to share something. “I was only allowed to go to the bathroom once a day, so less food and water, the better it was.” I walk away to the other counter and leave him with my confession. I remember the first few weeks were the hardest, but the beatings I got, sure made me learn faster on how to control everything.
“Hope—”
“Leo,” Jackson cuts him off.
Anxiety grips me, and my hands are shaking, but I need to try and make them understand. "I'm trying, trying to eat more. Because you hate it that I'm not eating. But I've been eating like this for over ten years. My stomach—"
"I get it, take your time," Leo says. I feel him standing behind me, his hands stroking my arms softly. "I'm sorry this happened to you, and I'm sorry I can't help you forget," he whispers, and I lean back on his chest.
“You do,” I whisper back to him. When he touches me, when he looks at me I don’t feel like I’m breaking into more pieces, I feel like he’s putting me back together.
CHAPTER18
LEO
Jackson sentme a message to let me know where to meet him. It was a longer drive than usual, but I never question where he wants to meet; he always has a plan for after it's all finished.
I spent most of my day working on You Are Loved. I got the team to look through everything we want to talk about, what we want and what needs to be changed. I spoke to my dad about this plan; he didn't say anything to me about it. He's known for a while that I wanted to start a charity like this one day, but I never really knew what kind of charity I wanted, or even how to go about starting it, so this proposal is probably the best thing for me. The group has come up with a plan, everything that I've always wanted to do, but never knew how I could go about it, and now I can be the man behind it with no questions asked.
I tried to call Hope a few times, but she never answered the phone, so today I bought her a cell phone. This way I can talk to her when I’m not with her or at least check in on how she’s doing.
