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"Your Uncle taught you well." Joseph sits behind me. "I'm going to make sure that you only ever think of me." His mouth moves closer to the back of my neck. Closing my eyes, I grab a handful of the bed sheets. I don't think my body can retake this today, five times and it's not even evening. My body hurts to the point that I don't want to touch it.
My eyes open when I hear the door closing; Leo’s back. Staring out the window for a moment, I remember the last time he came back from a night like this. It looked like it had taken a lot out of him. As I look up at the night sky, the only question that I have is, is one of my monsters finally out of my life?
Grabbing my sweater, I slowly make my way downstairs. The room is so quiet, not one sound can be heard. Jackson must have come with him as I see the door close before I reach the bottom of the stairs.
Looking around, I head to the kitchen and turn to the yard. I’ve picked up that Leo likes to sit in the yard when he’s had a hard day. He’s sitting on the chair as he smokes, leaning forward with his head in his hand. Something is stressing him out; did Joseph say something to him about me?
Making my way outside, I sit on the table in front of him. He slowly lifts his head as the smoke leaves his nose. I’m not sure what I should say, I don’t want to say anything, but I know I should.
Bringing my hand closer to his I move my fingers over the cut across his knuckles as he takes another drag from his cigarette. My eyes move over him, and I see that he's changed his clothes, which tells me Jackson was here.
Leo's gaze meets mine, and I feel like I can read everything he wants to say, the coldness in his eyes makes my body stiffen, but at the same time the power in them feels like a tornado hitting me.
“You don’t have to fear him anymore.” He takes my hand in his. “I told you I won’t let you fear anything.”
Just the thought ofhimnever being around me again and never having to hear him again has me feeling in ways I can't control. Biting my lower lip as the tears escape, Leo wipes them away with his thumb, and his hand rests on my cheek for a moment. "Hope, ask me. You've wanted to ask for a while."
He’s right. The moment he came to my apartment, the moment he brought me here I’ve had one question.
“Why are you doing all this?” I sob. This man who I hardly know saw the pain I was in, understood the scars I was hiding before even seeing them and he helped me. He wants nothing in return and I don’t know how to deal with it. No one has ever been selfless with me. Not since I lost my family. And there’s nothing I can give him to express my gratitude.
"I walked into the restaurant, and I stopped in my tracks. I looked around to see what was happening because someone in that restaurant pulled me towards them. Then my eyes found you, and I have no idea what happened. Hope, something so strong was pulling me towards you, so strong that I couldn't stop looking at you."
I turn away from him for a moment as I wipe the tears away. His words are hitting me so hard that my emotions don’t know what to do. My heart is racing so fast that it’s scaring me; all I can think is why me? But I’m so glad he chose me even though I don’t know how to tell him.
"Hope, I don't know what happened that day at the restaurant. But I don't regret following you, I don't regret bringing you here." His finger rests under my chin, and he turns my face toward him. "I don't regret anything when it comes to you."
As much as I'm trying to hold it together, the emotions running through me come out like a silent uproar from my throat. Beads of water are falling one after the other. I've never had such a feeling of happiness before. My world has just turned into a blur. All I want to do is find a way to thank Leo for everything. I want to hug him, I want to kiss him, but my body is shutting down on me.
Pulling my sweater sleeves down, I wipe the tears away. "I don't regret staying here," I tell him. There is always the thought in my head that maybe I should leave, but my heart tells me to stay.
Leo moves closer to me. He puts his cigarette on the tray and cups my face. "I'm going to kiss you." I give a small nod, and then he's kissing me. I've gotten a taste of him now and I know I'm never going to have enough. His hand moves to the back of my neck, and he kisses me harder, deeper. It's like he needs me just as much as I need him.
He pulls away just a little, his hand moving from the back of my neck to my cheek. The softness makes my body shivers.
“If I carry on, I don’t think—”
"I want you to." Usually, the thought of a man touching me scares me, but not with Leo. His eyes meet mine. I don't see anything in them; don't know what he's thinking.
Leaning back into the chair, Leo puts out his hand, and I slowly place my hand in his. He wraps his fingers around mine and pulls me softly to him so that I'm straddling his lap. Sitting like this, so close to him feels right.
He continues to stare at me, and I don't know what I should be doing. I've always had to lie there, and that's it.
His hand strokes my thigh. "Are you okay?" His voice is quiet as his right-hand moves closer to my face. His finger softy strokes my cheekbone and my eyes close involuntarily at his touch.
“Yes... I just don’t know what—”
"Hope." I open my eyes “I won’t do anything to hurt you.”
Something in my expression must tell him that I know he won't hurt me. He places his hands under my bottom and stands up making me wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as he walks back into the house. He carries me into the sitting room, and lets go of me, and my feet hit the cold wood floor. My hands slowly move down his chest, and I can feel his muscles through the thin material of his t-shirt.
I feel Leo's hands moving to the hem of my sweater, his finger traces the skin of my stomach; his touch always feels like an electric shock and a feather at the same time, and I like it. He lifts my sweater up slowly, and I take in a sharp breath as it comes over my head, my breasts are free, but Leo's eyes are locked with mine, as his hands rest on my hips.
“You know you look beautiful," he whispers against my lips as he softly pushes me to sit down on the sofa. Kneeling in front of me Leo leans closer and kisses me, as his hands move to my PJ bottoms.
My body tenses up just a small amount, but he feels it and pulls away from me. "I won't—"
I pull him down to kiss me again. I don't want him to stop and if he asks if I'm sure then I'm going to keep thinking about the worst times and I don't want to. All I want to think about is Leo touching me.
