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“I just want a shower please.” I want to wash him off. I want to wash his touch off me, his breath off me, just the feeling of him off me.
Jackson tells Leo, “I’ll order a pizza. She’s still in shock about it all.” I slowly stand on trembling legs as Jackson talks to Leo. I know they both want to know where I was, what happened after I ran, but I want to shower then I want to lie down and sleep.
As I make my way up the stairs, I feel Leo’s hand on my lower back. As I make my way to my room, I look down at my hands which are shaking so badly now.
“You need to take your pills.” Leo walks over to my medication and takes out what I need. “Here, then take a warm shower, sit in front of the fireplace and have some food. You have to eat.” He walks me over to the bathroom the moment I have taken my pills.
I hear the water and lean on the counter for a moment as I start to feel light headed again. “Come here.” Leo helps me undress as I don’t have the energy to do it. “Do these hurt?” I look down at where he’s pointing.
"I didn't even know they were there," I tell him, as I look at the bruise.
Moving my hair out of the way, he kisses my forehead. "I would have looked all night for you, I'm sorry." Pulling away from me, he continues to undress me and the moment all my clothes are off, I watch Leo undress. "Come on, let's get in."
I close my eyes as the water runs over my body, and as Leo wraps his arms around me, I start crying all the tears I’ve been holding in for so long.
“You’re safe.”
“Please don’t let him take me again.”
“Not going to happen, the next time I see him, I’ll be putting a bullet between his eyes.”
Leo's touch leaves my body, and I already feel lost without it. Opening my eyes, I watch Leo with the body wash. "Turn around." I do as he asks and I feel him softly washing my body but then he moves in front of me and I flinch as he reaches my stomach. "I'll be gentle," he whispers.
Nodding, I look at the bruises covering my body. There’s one part of me that Leo hasn’t said anything about, my face. Uncle Jack hit me twice. I know my lip is cut and I know that there’s bound to be a bruise too.
Taking a step back under the water, Leo joins me, his hand on my back as the water washes the soap away. I gaze up at Leo, as his fingers move away some of my hair and his thumb moves over my lip.
Taking his hand in mine, I stop him moving his thumb. "I know you tried to look for me. I know that you would have never stopped looking."
“Never.”
CHAPTER28
LEO
JoiningJackson in the sitting room, I flip open the pizza box and take a slice and go sit on the couch. I thought this night was never going to end. I thought I wouldn't see Hope again and that was causing more heartache for me than I ever imagined possible.
I know that she's a survivor. I mean after everything she's been through she's still standing, and that just shows she has a lot more willpower than anyone else I know.
"You can ask it," I say without looking at him. I know that Jackson has wanted to say something to me the moment we couldn't find Hope. I already know what the question is, but I've been too scared to say it out loud. I know that I can treat Hope better than anyone else out there; I know that I can look after her, so why am I so scared to admit it?
“Are you falling in love with Hope?”
Leaning back into the couch, I sigh, “Past falling.” I turn to look at him. “I’m in love with her.” Then I move my focus to the blank TV screen waiting for him to say something.
“I thought being in love was meant to make a man feel happy, you don’t look happy.” He joins me on the couch and hands me a beer.
“Don’t think that I will be—”
“I’m going to stop you there.” He leans forward tilting his head toward me. “Don’t think that you can’t be good enough for her, okay? Don’t think that you can’t make her happy. We both know that you’ll be the best thing to happen to her and she’ll be the same for you. So how about we finish what we started, so you and Hope can finally be happy and forget the past?”
"I don't think either one of us will ever forget the past. That shit is burned into us." The memories are burned into every cell of my body; no amount of time will ever take that shit out of my head.
“I agree, it is, but you need to start looking at the life you can have with her if you just let it happen.” Jackson stops talking when Hope walks into the room and sits in front of the fireplace.
Maybe Jackson is right. If I stop overthinking everything, I can have some sort of normal life. All I know is I can’t think about my life unless Hope is in it.
“Can I take a look at your arm?” I ask sitting in front of her as Jackson goes to the kitchen to get the first aid box for me. Hope pushes the sleeve of her sweater up and puts out her arm for me. “It’s not deep at all, just needs a clean and that’s it.” Moving my hands down her arms to her hands, I frown. We had finally got them to look healthy and one night in the cold and they looked fucked up again. “Did you put some lotion on?”
