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Walking back into the house, to the kitchen to get some water, I watch Jackson telling Leo about the plan. He doesn’t look happy at all about it, but he’s been in a bad mood since he got something from Jack.
"Fuck off Jackson," Leo growls and walks over to me. The anger in his expression tells me that this is going to involve some shouting. I put my head down. "Lift your head." I lift it a little. "Hope, lift your head!" he shouts, and I look up at him properly. "You must think I'm fucking crazy if you think that I’m playing along with this.”
“Well, it’s happening,” I say with courage that I pluck from who knows where.
“Like fuck it is.”
I stand my ground. “You always said that I can leave this house when I want. What are you going to do, lock me up in my room?" This is the first time I've raised my voice, and my heart feels like it will burst out of my chest.
Why am I being like this with him? I don't know why I'm so mean to him. My emotions are all over the place at the moment. I've had news that has brought back every fear in my body, every fear from my past. I need to start thinking about what I did when I ran away from Joseph because if Leo doesn’t kill Jack this week, I have to go on the run again as he’ll know where to find me. I can’t let that happen, I can’t go back and live that life. I need this to end, not just for me anymore, but for this baby.
“I have no idea what the fuck is happening in that head, but you must have fucking hit it somewhere if you think I’m going to let you out of my sight with a fucked up asshole looking for you," Leo shouts at me, and I can see that there is no talking to him at the moment, there is no way of him agreeing to this at all.
As his voice gets louder, my mind and body go back to that night.
“I’m not sure how you could do this,” Uncle Jack shouts at me as he continues to kick me.
How is this my fault? I don’t even know how this happened.
“I’m going to make sure that you remember how much this is hurting you.” He stops and grabs my face and pushes it against the wall. “Now I have to find a way to make sure this never happens again.” He throws me to the floor again and takes a few steps away from me. “So now that you have really, really upset me, you don’t get any food tonight.”
The door closes, and I hold my stomach as it hurts so much, I can't breathe. I think this is the worst pain I've felt so far from Uncle Jack and he's done things that have made me sick.
“Hope!” I jump at the loud bang, seeing Leo’s hand on the counter, I take a step back.
“Leo, you’re scaring her.” I hear Jackson but don’t see where he is.
"Scaring her? I'm scaring her?" Leo shouts at Jackson. "I fucking love her and want to protect her, and she's thinking fucking stupid shit!"
What did Leo just say? He loves me?
Someone loves me? My body and mind have both frozen on me, no words are leaving my mouth, but I don’t even know what to say to him. I never thought someone would love me.
"Hope, go up to your room. I think Leo needs a little time to cool down," Jackson tells me, and before Leo can say anything, I walk around him and up the stairs.
CHAPTER32
LEO
“How about a drink?”Jackson places a whiskey in front of me. “Well, you said you loved her. I really didn’t think you would admit it to her.”
Saying it out loud to her just makes it more real, and I think it took me by surprise when I said it. But the thing is I don't regret it.
"Are you seriously thinking about this plan of hers?" I can't believe how angry this has made me, that she's willing to let herself stand so close to him, why she would risk it. She knows him better than Jackson, and I do, so she knows that anything could happen to her.
"Look at this from her point of view for a second. Say we don't do what she wants and we don't kill him by the end of the week. Jack now knows where she lives, so that means she will be even more on edge than she is now, looking over her shoulder living in fear. Neither you nor I can stay here all day every day. She can't go to work with you all the time, and she'll start to hate you. So what's the one option she has?" Jackson stares at me, and I glare back.
“Spit it out.”
“She’ll go on the run again, the only thing she knows to do when it comes to that asshole.”
I run my hands through my hair and grip the strands. “Fuck.” I never thought about it from her point like this. “But still, do you really think this is the best way?”
“Considering what we have to work with, yes I do.”
Lighting up a cigarette, I down the whiskey and look over at the stairs. “Never thought this day would happen, a day where my life is all about some woman that I would easily die in order to save her.”
Shaking my head, I look at the counter. Something is going on in her head, but she’s too scared to tell me what. One thing I do know is that it is connected to her Uncle; she only ever goes quiet when she’s thinking back to her time with him.
