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“When I saw the stables on fire and your mom said you’d gone to check on the horses, I panicked. I was so scared I was going to lose you…” He trailed off and his arms squeezed me tighter. “When I got into the stables, it wasn’t too bad to start with, and I was sure I’d find you. I opened the stalls as I went, freeing the horses, but the farther I got toward the back, the less I could see, and the smoke was getting thicker.” I lay in his arms listening to him, the tears streaking down my face. “Brody followed me in, and I saw him carrying someone in his arms. I remember feeling so relieved that he’d found you, then he shouted that it wasn’t you and I began to lose hope as the flames got more intense and the smoke unbearable. I heard a cracking noise and the next thing I remember is waking uphere.”
“The roof collapsed, and Dad and Mason pulled you out. I thought I’d lost you Josh. I never want to feel like that again. If I had lost you…” My voice broke and I startedsobbing.
Leaning over me, he wiped away my tears with his fingers. “You haven’t lost me, and you won’t lose me. We’re going to get married and have this baby and be a family, and we’re going to be so happy. I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember, and nothing is going to keep usapart.”
I nodded and turned my head, capturing his lips in a soft kiss. “I can’t wait. I want it all, and I want it with you. It’s always beenyou.”
He smiled and pulled me back against him. “Sleep now baby, you lookexhausted.”
I nodded, finally allowing myself to relax in his arms. I’d been waiting for my happily ever after with Josh since I was 15, and as I closed my eyes, wrapped tightly in his arms, I fell asleep knowing the rest of our lives started rightthen.
“Josh! Josh!”I heard Savannah shout. I rolled over and buried my head in my pillow, still half asleep. “Josh!” she shoutedagain.
Leaning over, I flicked the lamp on and rolled over to face her. “What’s wrong Sav?” I asked, rubbing myeyes.
“It’s time,” she saidquietly.
“Time for what?” I asked, still notawake.
“Time to be adaddy.”
“The baby’s coming?” I asked in a panic. She nodded and moved to get out of bed. “But you’re not due yet!” Iexclaimed.
“I’m due in just over a week Josh, and babies rarely come on their due date,” she told me, slowly putting her clothes on. She stopped and looked at me. “Are you going to getup?”
“Are you sure it’s time?” I asked, not feeling ready for this to behappening.
“I’m sure babe. I’ve been timing my contractions and they’re coming every seven minutes. It’s time to go.” My eyes widened in surprise. Suddenly realizing she wasn’t joking, I flew out of bed, pulling my jeans on. I watched her as I got dressed; she seemed so calm, so why did I feel like I was going to throw up? I knew I had to get my shit together—I was going to be useless to her in my current state. Walking over to her, I took her hands in mine and turned her to faceme.
“I love you,” I told her as I pulled her into my arms and kissed herhead.
“I’m scared,” she said, her voicebreaking.
“I’m scared too baby, but I’m here and you can dothis.”
She nodded and took a deep breath, pointing to her overnight bag in the corner of the room. “Don’t forget the bag.” I nodded and grabbed it, following her down the stairs. Halfway down, a contraction hit and she stopped, her hand pressed to the wall as she bent over slightly and started panting. I rubbed her back while she breathed through it. “Fuck that hurt!” she exclaimed after it passed, and Ichuckled.
“You’re going to swear a lot today, aren’tyou?”
“I think so,” sheadmitted.
“Come on, let’s go get you some drugs!” She laughed as I followed her out of the cottage and up toward the car. I saw her glancing over to where the stables had stood, the grass still scorched from the fire. What was left of the burnt-out stable had been pulled down, and preparations were being made to rebuild. All but two of the horses had escaped the fire, and they were currently being kept in the old stables at the back of theranch.
Reaching the car, I held open the passenger door and helped Savannah in. Leaning over her, I fixed her seat belt and kissed her on the cheek. I raced around to the driver’s side of the new Volvo SUV I’d recently traded my Porsche in for and jumped in, throwing her overnight bag on the back seat. Glancing over at her, I watched as she sat with her eyes closed and her fists clenched in her lap. I’d never let myself believe a life with Savannah was possible, let alone a life where I got to have her and a child. I’d never loved her more than I did in that moment, knowing she was going to give me something I’d never thought I wouldhave.
Her eyes opened and she looked over at me, a small smile pulling on her lips. “Let’s go have a baby,” she said as she reached over and took my hand. I nodded and started theengine.
Arriving at the hospital 10 minutes later, we made our way into the maternity department. Her contractions were coming every five minutes now, and she’d had two in the car on the way there. I felt completely useless rubbing her back, but I didn’t know what else to do. As we arrived at the reception desk, another contraction hit and she bent over, rocking on her heels as she panted. She took my hand and squeezed it tightly, her face a picture ofpain.
“You’re doing great,” I told her, wishing I could take her pain away. A nurse appeared with a wheelchair and she sat Savannah in it, wheeling her to aroom.
“Don’t leave me Josh,” she said frantically, tears running down her cheeks. “I can’t do this withoutyou.”
“I’m not going anywhere sweetheart,” I promised, and I didn’t. I stayed by her side for the whole labor. Seven hours and a lot of cursing later, screams filled the room as our daughter was born. Savannah was incredible and as she cradled our newborn baby in her arms, I fell even more in love with her. Tears ran down my cheeks and I leaned over, kissing her softy. “You were amazing Savannah. She’s beautiful, just like her mama. I love you so much,” I told her, choking on the lump that had formed in mythroat.
“I love you too Josh. Do you want to hold her?” Her face beamed with happiness as I nodded and held out my hands, nervous that I was going to drop her or hold her wrong. As Savannah placed her in my arms, the rush of love I felt was overwhelming. As the nurses took care of Savannah, I moved to the window with her in myarms.
“Hello beautiful girl,” I whispered, my hand reaching up to stroke her perfect face. “I’m your daddy and I love you so much.” I really did. It was hard to explain how someone you’ve only met moments before can suddenly become the center of your whole world, but both she and her mommy owned myheart.
Once Savannah was settled, I sat down in the chair next toher.
“What should we name her?” Sav asked as she gazed at me, her eyes full oflove.
Looking down at her in my arms, I smiled. “What about Hope? I think that’s pretty fitting, what do youthink?”
“Hope Miller,” Savannah said, testing it out. “Hope Miller…I like it. What about Elizabeth as a middle name, after my Grams? Hope Elizabeth Miller?” she asked with asmile.
I nodded. “I think it’s perfect. Hello Hope,” I said, gazing down at her in myarms.
It really was perfect. This little bundle had given us the hope that we could be happy and have a life together. I’d spent years fighting my feelings for Savannah, believing I couldn’t give her what she needed, when in reality all we had both needed was to love each other. Everything we’d been through, both apart and together, had been stepping stones to get us to that point, and I for one couldn’t wait to see what the future held for the three ofus.
