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“Are you? Are you really?” I sigh heavily. “Jack? Talk to me.”
“I’m just tired, Lib. Working and looking after Jacob is tough. I’ve just hit a bad patch. We’ll be okay.”
“God, I hate Zara. I can’t believe she left you guys. Have you heard from her?”
“No, and I don’t want to. We’re good, just the two of us.”
“Why don’t you come out to the ranch? It’s been ages since I saw you. I miss you.”
“I miss you too, but I can’t just fly halfway across the world to come see you. I have a job, bills to pay.”
“You can take a holiday. Surely you have some leave? I know everyone would love to see you.” I can hear the pleading in her voice, but there’s no way I can make it happen. I wish I could. A break is exactly what I need right now, and I know Jacob would love it.
“I’d love to see everyone too, but I can’t. I’m sorry, Lib. Maybe early next year.”
“Okay.” She sounds disappointed, and I feel bad, but I know there’s no way I can make it happen. We chat for a while and she fills me in on life on the ranch, and what’s been happening with everyone. Libby went to visit family on their ranch in Texas four years ago. Her best friend had just died, and she was lost. She went there to escape and ended up falling in love. She’s been there ever since and married Mason just before I met Zara. I’ve never seen her happier, and while I miss her, she’s where she belongs. I’ve visited her a couple of times, and she came home just after Jacob was born, but I wish I could see her more often. We talk for a few more minutes, and I promise again to send her some pictures of Jacob. We FaceTime often, and he loves his aunt Libby.
Ending the call, I decide to call it a night. Jacob had a rough night the night before with some back teeth coming through, and neither of us got much sleep. Hopefully tonight will be better and I can catch up a little. I turn off the TV, lock up, and head upstairs. Checking on Jacob, I’m relieved to see he’s still fast asleep. I brush a kiss on his chubby cheek, then close his bedroom door behind me and head into the bathroom. After a quick shower, I crawl, exhausted, into bed.
Despite being tired, I’m still awake ten minutes later. My mind is full of the person who always seems to invade my thoughts when I lie in bed alone. Mia, Libby’s best friend. Mia and Lib had been inseparable as kids, and Mia was always at our house. I’m two years older than Libby, and for a while, my sister and her friend were just annoying little girls. It wasn’t until I was about sixteen or seventeen that my feelings toward Mia changed. She’d come over one day looking for Libby, who’d gone out. I ended up inviting her in, and we’d watched a film. Nothing happened, but I’d loved spending time with her, and it made me realize I’d liked her for quite a while. She was only fifteen, so I never said anything, figuring I’d have plenty of time to tell her how I felt when she got a little older.
I remember my dad calling me to say Libby and Mia had been involved in an accident. When he’d told me Mia hadn’t made it, it felt like someone had ripped my heart out. It was only then I’d realized I’d been in love with her. It was too late though, and I never got the chance to tell her. I thought meeting Zara might have been a second chance at happiness, especially when I’d found out she was pregnant. Turns out I’d been wrong about that too.
I’m woken the next morning by Jacob’s chattering filling the room through the baby monitor. Although it’s early, there is no better way to be woken.
“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,” he shouts, and I chuckle as I sit up and swing my legs to the side of the bed.
“On the way, buddy,” I shout as I make my way to his bedroom. Pushing the door open, I see him standing up in the cot, his face lit up in a smile as he sees me.
“Daddy!” he cries, holding his hands up in the air for me to pick him up. “Up, up, up!”
Laughing, I cross the room and scoop him up, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“Morning, little man. Did you sleep well?” He nods, his small fingers finding my ears. Even when he was tiny, his little fingers would reach up and hold on to my ears. It’s something he’s always done, and something I know I’ll miss when he’s too big for me to pick him up.
“Let’s get you cleaned up and fed.” Placing him on the changing table, I make quick work of changing his nappy. I decide to leave him in his sleepsuit and get him dressed after breakfast. Feeding time is always messy and I’ve enough laundry to do.
I carry him downstairs and place him in his high chair while I flick on the coffee machine. “Do you want juice, Jacob?” I ask as I open the fridge.
“Yes!” he shouts, banging his hands on the tray of the high chair. Laughing, I fill his juice cup and pass it to him. “Tank you, Daddy,” he says as he takes the cup from me and begins to gulp down the juice. I smile at his mispronunciation of thank you. His speech is really coming on, and I try to talk to him as much as I can.
“Nanny and Pops are coming over today,” I tell him as I make his porridge. “You can play trucks with Pops.”
“Pops, play trucks,” he cries as he puts his juice down and claps his hands. To say he loves cars and trucks is an understatement. Nearly every one of his toys has wheels, and he plays for hours, lining them up and racing them along the wooden floor of the sitting room. I love watching him play. Even at two, his imagination is amazing.
After finishing up with breakfast, I take Jacob back upstairs and get him dressed. Leaving him to play in his bedroom, I wash up before getting dressed myself. We’ve got an hour before my parents arrive and the weather’s good, so we head to the park on his three-wheel bike. He can’t pedal just yet, so I use the parent handle to push him along. He squeals with excitement when he sees the swings.
“Swings, Daddy. Push me.”
“Come on, then,” I tell him, lifting him off his bike and onto the swing. “Hold on tight.” I push him gently, watching his little legs dangling from the seat.
“Higher, Daddy,” he cries. Smiling, I push him a little higher before coming around to the front of the swing so I can see his face. Grabbing my phone from my pocket, I take a few pictures and send them to Libby. After a few more minutes on the swing, he wants to go on the slide. I lift him from the seat and follow him to the small climbing frame. Standing behind him, I watch as he climbs the ladder, crossing the walkway to the slide.
“Catch, Daddy.” I stand at the end of the slide and crouch down, my arms open wide.
“One, two, three, go!” I shout. His face is flushed with excitement, and he belly laughs as he shoots down the slide into my waiting arms. “Again,” he cries, running back around to the steps. We do this another handful of times before going on the roundabout and back on the swings again.
“Time to head back now, Jacob. Nanny and Pops will be coming soon.”
