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I rake my hand through my hair, breaths wild. I can’t. I can’t. I won’t.
“Do…you think I’m ugly, or something?”
Ugly! My laugh is crazed, too loud, as I point at her, shaking my head and my finger. I can’t make the words come. Can’t say out loud how absolutely delicious I find her. I walk a tight circle, clenching my fists.
Her eyes widen for a flash, before she gives me a small nod, like she’s decided something, and steps back into the doorway.
“I get it. I’ll,” her throat ripples, “I’ll just stay out of your—”
The door inches closed, and I dart forward to catch it, because the last thing I want is for anything of mine to cause her the slightest bit of unwelcome pain. Unfortunately, the poor girl thinks I’m lunging for her and stumbles out of my way in shock, skimming her heel on the plush carpeting. Before I can react, she lands on the elevator floor with a pained whimper.
“Lucy,” I whisper, nearly unable to make my voice work.
“I-I wasn’t…” She gulps down whatever she was about to say, tucking her head between her shoulders like she’s waiting for a physical reprimand. “I’m not trying to be so pathetic, I promise. It was an accident.”
The shock of seeing her so defeated wars with my desire to break her in an entirely different way. I lower to my knees beside her, my entire decrepit soul shouting at me to pull her onto my lap and make her scream with pleasure until she sees her worth.
Instead, because I can’t allow that to happen, I tenderly stroke the side of her head.
Fuck, it fits so perfectly in my palm. I get lost for a moment, tracing my thumb over her brow ridge, before I come back to my senses.
“You’re not pathetic at all.”
She blinks her gorgeous, wet eyes at me, before quickly scrambling to cover herself again. I’m both proud of myself for not noticing, and pissed as fucking hell that I missed seeing them.
“Are…you sure?”
“Positive.” I pull my hand back, clenching my fist like I could save the feeling forever. “And I never lie.”
She swallows again, gifting me with the smallest of smiles.
“Okay. Then will you tell me why you’re scared of me?”
I stare at her. “I’m not.”
She rests her hand on my knee, and my pulse thunders. I launch to my feet, backing away with another swipe through my hair.
“That. Why are you afrai—”
“You’re eighteen, Lucy!” My voice is far too loud in this small space, but I can’t help it. It’s not even the main reason I won’t touch her, but it’s the easiest to explain. “Eight. Teen. We’re farther apart in age than you are old. This,” I gesture between the two of us, “is not, nor will it become…why are you smiling?”
It turns to a laugh as she wipes her eyes. “I really thought you didn’t like me. That or, I dunno, maybe you were a virgin or something.”
My arms drop to my sides. “I couldn’t be farther from a virgin, I assure you.”
She cuts those eyes up, all mischief and sunshine and sin and—
“Such a virgin thing to say.”
Caught completely off-guard, I laugh. I stop it just as fast, forcing my expression back into a frown.
But Lucy…her face changes. I can’t explain how, can’t put into words what micro adjustments happen where, all I know is it lances me clean through the heart.
And my heart is off limits. To everyone.
“Back to the loft, please. I have other things to do with my night.”
The darkness that swarms this tiny room when her smile fades is suffocating.
