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“Yes, of course, but then Sue left a really weird letter for Robyn that made no sense whatsoever. Just random gibberish, really. There were only two weeks that Sue stayed in the room all the time. Finals week both semesters, the one time Robyn would’ve loved to have had the room to herself.”
“Geez.”
“Robyn ended up spending a lot of time in the library those weeks because she just felt too awkward being in her room with Sue there. And then the next year, her roommate was there almost all day and night long, as in not even wanting to go to classes much. Every single weekend, though, she would go home to get trashed with her friends from high school. She ended up flunking out two weeks before the end of the school year.”
“Yikes.”
“Lauren isn’t nearly as bad as either of them. She hates it when I have friends over, even if we aren’t being all that loud, and she has a boyfriend, but she won’t even touch him. It’s so strange.”
“Maybe she just wants to take things slow,” Erika says.
“I did think that,” I say slowly. “Maybe something happened to her that makes her act that way around guys, but I am not close enough to ask her. I will say that if my stuff is messed with one more time, though, I’m going to have words with her.”
“She touches your things?”
“Yes. It’s gotten to the point that I’ve taken pics of my desk before I leave for classes so I can make sure that nothing has been taken, but I don’t like the idea of her rooting through my things.”
“Of course not. God, she has super serious boundaries with her guy, but with her roommate, she can do whatever the hell she wants? Forget that.”
“Yeah, I really don’t appreciate it, but what can I do?” I shrug. “I’ll mention something at some point, and she’ll deny it, and things will turn even icier between us, but I do not want to wait until my stuff has been stolen to react.”
“I really hope that you can work things out between you two, but let’s get back on topic,” Erika says gently.
My laugh is a bit forced. “Am I that obvious?”
“Painfully,” she says.
“I meant more over the summer,” I say, “for maybe going abroad. I don’t know. Kyle did that and loved it, but it’s expensive. Mom would love it, though, and it might help to ground her somewhere.”
“You’re a wonderful daughter,” Erika says.
“Am I?” I realize I’ve picked up my pace and have to slow down. After all, I have no idea where we’re heading.
“Why wouldn’t you be?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because I shuffled my mom off to Europe and left her there.”
“You did it to help save her. Don’t forget that.”
“I know, but…”
“No buts,” Erika says firmly. “Stop doubting yourself.”
“But is she really saved if she’s unhappy?”
“Unhappy but alive,” Erika says. She slows to a stop, staring off into the distance, and I know she’s thinking about her mom killed by her father. “She’s alive, and that’s all that matters. You had a hand in saving her. If I had known what my father had been involved in… if she hadn’t stuck through her marriage for my sake…”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, hugging her.
“It’s not your fault,” Erika says. She gives me a tragic smile, just the tiniest of ones, and we wordlessly hug each other that much tighter.
But Erika doesn’t give me a break. Not in the slightest.
“Your mom will be fine,” Erika says, “so long as your father stays out of the picture. Do you know what he’s up to?”
“No, and I’m not sure that I want to know.”
“It would be better for your piece of mind to know, don’t you think?”
