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The billionaire never cared about me at all. This whole time, I was just a gullible fool, living in a dream world where princes ride white horses before galloping off into the sunset, a beautiful damsel rescued.
This was nothing like that. Gray was a billionaire beast who only wanted my virginity, front and back, before surrendering me to the masked men.
The ice around my heart grows more and more solid until I am completely encased, covered with it inside and out.
I’m frozen with grief, pain, and the knowledge that I’ve been an utter fool. I’ve been abandoned again for not being good enough. Just like my parents, he left me when I needed him most. Now there’s no one out in the world to save me, and I am completely and utterly alone.
Chapter 10
Grayson
“Grayson! Help me! Save me!” Trina’s terrified face and wide, tear-filled eyes flash behind my tightly closed eyes. “Help me!” she’s crying out desperately. “Please,” she cries. I see those terrified eyes again, the way her hands reach for me in desperation.
Fuck! The man dragged her out a while ago, but her terrified screams still ring like emergency sirens in my head. I pace in the suite, my knees wobbly as I make my way from one room to the next, my body shaking with shame and fury. Every time I pass the pile of clothes she left, the pain of what I did stabs me harder.
You fucking idiot!
What kind of man abandons the woman he cares about?
My entire body shakes. The foundations of who I thought I was begins to crumble. Because all these years, I’ve been ruthless at every turn. Firm and calculating in my business and personal lives. But never did I hurt an innocent. Never did I cause a look of terror like I saw on Trina’s face as she was being dragged from the bathroom.
Fear. Betrayal. Hopelessness flickered across her beautiful features.
Am I the man who did that to her?
Fuck. Of course I am.
I feel bile rising up in my throat and I barely make it to the bathroom on time to spew it all in the toilet bowl, heaving my guts up and tasting the bitter gall of my stupidity. Tears from the strain of vomiting burn my eyes. My chest heaves. My stomach cramps. My hands clench around the toilet bowl.
Disgusting. That’s what I am. A pile of shit, stinking to the high heavens, not even worth touching the soles of her feet.
When I have nothing left inside of me, I brush my teeth and wash my face, then stagger back into the living room. As a lurch past a big decorative mirror, I see a haggard man: a coward in dark slacks and la ong-sleeved shirt unbuttoned and showing off the body I’ve always been so damn proud of. But I can’t take pride in that now. None of that means shit because this body betrayed Trina. This body let her go.
My fists clench and my jaw aches from gritting my teeth. I want to smash the pretty image in that mirror, to punch and destroy that chiseled chest and those hard abs. But I know this physical self-destruction is nothing compared to what Trina’s going through right now. Fuck, this is all my fault. Why didn’t I help her? What the fuck is wrong with me? Seeing red, I take the closest thing to me—a vase full of blooming flowers—and slam it against the wall, roaring with anger. The vase smashes against the wall, water, stems, and shards showering the carpeted floor. This does nothing to quell my rage, and I am left standing silently, chest heaving. Suddenly, my whole body feels weak, and I listlessly stumble into a chair.
Okay. Calm down.
With a desperate gasp, I try to wrestle my out-of-control thoughts into submission. But another cramp twists my stomach and I fight off another round of vomiting. It’s all I can do not to double over from the pain. It’s all in my head, this pain, but it’s still real.
Trina. My sweet girl is gone.
Never in my life have I felt like so shitty and powerless. I run a multi-billion-dollar company. I have hundreds of thousands of employees, and I can buy my way out of trouble anywhere on the planet. But I might as well be a nameless nobody sleeping in the gutter for all the influence I have now.
“Grayson! Help me! Save me! Get me away from them!” Tears well up in Trina’s soft brown eyes and cascade down her rounded cheeks. She looks broken, like nothing in her life will ever be the same again. And it’s all because of me.
“Fuck!” The mirror explodes into a thousand shards under my fist. Blood explodes from the gashes and cuts in my knuckles but I barely feel the pain.
