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But now, it’s perfect. I have an actual interview where it’s important to come off polished and smooth, even if that’s the opposite of how I actually feel. My fingers tremble slightly as I fasten the delicate pearl buttons, mentally rehearsing the next stage of my plot to get this job. I need to convince Nana that I’m missing school because I’m about to apply for upstanding, honest work, and not shady positions I’ve found on the Internet.
Walking with confidence, I stroll through the narrow hallway of our apartment. Knowing she’ll be watching Wheel of Fortune, I walk past the living room, pretending to need something in the kitchen.
“Trina! Where are you going?”
“Nowhere. Just getting ready for the Internship Fair tomorrow,” I announce absentmindedly while taking out a cup from a cabinet.
“The Internship Fair?” she parrots. “That sounds wonderful, sweetheart.”
My back is towards Nana, so I can’t see her reaction, but from her tone I’m sure she’s nodding with approval.
“Yeah, remember I told you about it?” I say innocently, turning to see her sitting on the living room couch, beaming with approval.
“An internship fair?” she repeats, more to herself than me, as if she’s trying to remember the fictitious story I’ve alluded to.
“Yes, you signed the permission slip and everything.” I shrug, a pang of guilt bouncing through me as I prey on her vulnerability. Nana has had trouble remembering basic things for a while now, but I’ve never used it to my advantage. Making her doubt herself feels like a betrayal, but all I can think about are the benefits in the end. She’ll thank me when I can help cover our bills.
“Oh, the permission slip,” she says, nodding, but I know from her tone she doesn’t really remember. How could she because it never happened?
“Yes, so I’ll be missing school tomorrow, remember? Plus, I think it’ll be a good opportunity to wear the top you got me,” I explain, running my fingers over the front of the blouse, the soft fabric coating my hands like liquid. “Don’t you think it’s perfect for a corporate position?” My voice trembles a little, and I mentally berate myself. This is all for a good cause, the voice in my head whispers. You’re doing this to help your family.
“Oh that’s right,” says Nana, nodding now. “And yes, that blouse does seem perfect for an interview,” she says with a smile, eyeing her selection with pride.
She’s right. I’ve loved the shirt since I first tried it on. The ruffles on the front accentuate my boobs, but in a subtle, flattering way. True to her intentions, the shirt makes me feel grown and professional, and nothing like a child attending high school.
“Well, good luck tomorrow, baby. I’m sure you’ll do a great job.”
The look of trust in her eyes almost breaks my heart. There has to be a better way to get permission without lying, but I can’t think of what it might be, so here I am.
“Thanks, Nana.” I force a smile before returning to my room, my fake grin fading the second I’m past her.
My grandma doesn’t deserve this. Nana has always done everything she can to help me out. All she’s ever asked for is honesty and commitment, and yet, the lies have already begun. Even if it’s to help my family, I still feel guilty and a wave of nausea roils my stomach. I’ve never been good at lying, and now is no exception.
But then a loud, throaty cough interrupts my thoughts. It’s Mickey! Is my little brother okay? Immediately, all thoughts fly out of my head as I scurry to his bedroom and peek through the crack in his door to see him curled up in bed, his fist to his mouth, while the other holds his stomach. It’s one of those coughs that sounds painful, the awful hack roaring from his throat as his small body convulses rhythmically.
Seeing my brother like this hardens my resolve. I have to do this. There’s no way I can continue to stand by while my brother suffers. Nana is doing as much as she can, but it’s just not enough. Mickey needs medicine and a specialist, neither of which we can afford on her measly fixed income.
And in the end, this will all be worth it because this could be the start of something big. After all, I have to help my family and who knows what companionship means? Right now, it doesn’t even matter because I can’t let down my little brother, not when he’s so sick like this and my parents have deserted us. I’m the only thing standing between him and terrible illness, and swiping a tear from my eye, I shut the door to his room. I have to get this job. I have to. For Mickey.
Chapter 2
Trina
“Here’s an extra twenty dollars, honey. Make sure you get something to eat while you’re in the city. Don’t let them know you need the job because they can smell desperation,” Nana says when I head out the door.
