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Angie gave me a knowing look that I understood all too well as she leaned her hip against the counter, focusing her gaze on me.
“Ido nothave a crush on him,” I hissed, surprised she even thought I could. I cared about Scott a lot, yes, and if I could date someone, would I want it to be someone like him? Yes. But the fact of the matter was, I couldn’t date anyone. Not now and maybe not ever. And that was that.
“Never said you do,” she said with a chuckle, and I knew she didn’t believe me. Angie was a stubborn woman, and once she made up her mind about something, it was impossible to change her opinion.
“Even if I did, it’s not like anything could ever happen.”
“And why’s that?”
I gave her a look that told her she was crazy for even asking such a stupid question. “I can’tdate,Angie. Not Scott or anyone else. Dating leads to things I don’t think I’d ever be comfortable with. And who would even want a fuck-up like me anyway?”
Angie shook her head and gave me a soft, sad look I’d never seen on her face before. It transformed her goth face into something much more human. “Take it slow, Luke. We’re all fucked up in one way or another, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find happiness one day.”Who was this woman, and what had she done to my friend?
I shook my head in disbelief but refrained from replying because I knew it wouldn’t do any good. I knew I wasn’t worthy of the love Scott could give someone, and I could live with that, as long as I had his friendship.
8
Scott
“So,whatdoyoudo, Scott?” Mrs. Sparks or Mama D—as she’d told me to call her—asked.
“I work as a project manager in a marketing firm. I started the firm with my best friend two years ago, but quickly realized the administrative work wasn’t for me.”
Mama D smiled at me warmly as she said, “I’m glad you found what’s right for you. It’s important to love your work, I think, or you end up just going through the motions.”
“Yeah. You love running the charity and the magazine, don’t you?”
If it were possible, her smile brightened even more at the mention of her work. “Oh yes. They’re my babies. I love helping the kids get back on their feet and to be there for them when they need it.”
I smiled at the love that was clear in her voice as she talked about her adopted kids. “That’s how you met Luke, right? Through your charity?”
She nodded as a worried frown replaced her smile. “Is he doing okay? I don’t think he’d tell me even if he was struggling. He’s a stubborn boy.”
“That he is,” I agreed with a smile before continuing, “and he’s doing okay, all things considered. We spent the day reading together, and I think that helped him get back to himself.”
“He does love reading. When I first asked him why he loved reading so much, he told me books had been the only constant in his life for a long time,” she informed me with a bittersweet smile, making my heart hurt yet again for him.
She shook her head, shaking off the smile along with it before giving me a genuine one. “I’m glad you’re getting along well. I was a bit worried when he first told me he was moving out of the share-home, but I’m glad he found this place. And you.”
Before I could reply, Luke walked into the room, took one look at us, and rolled his eyes. “Table’s set. You can stop talking about me now.”
“Oh, no, I was just telling him the recipe of my ice cream,” Mama D said with a warm smile, but the look Luke gave her told me he didn’t believe her in the slightest.
The dinner was full of cheerful talk with some well-placed quips by Angie thrown into the mix, and I was surprised at how easy it was to get along with them. I’d been a bit nervous at first when I’d realizedTheDelilah Sparks was visiting our home, but she had this wonderful motherly aura about her that immediately made me feel comfortable. I could easily imagine how much the kids at Voice Out appreciated her presence. I only had to look at Luke and Angie to feel the love between the three of them, and I wasn’t surprised at the slight tinge of envy I felt at the mismatched but loving family they had. But maybe I could be a part of their family too, I realized, as they pulled me into a conversation about the pride parade they had led through the city last week.
Mama D’s ice cream was delicious, and I realized that I really did need the recipe, which Mama D promised me she’d text me later. By the time Mama D and Angie left, my stomach was full to bursting, and I was looking forward to curling up in bed and sleeping.
“Let’s clean up together and then go to bed,” I told Luke, who gave me a raised brow in return. “Separately,” I added with a chuckle and rolled my eyes at him as we started on the dishes.
When my cheek hit the pillow, I conked out instantly, sated from a hearty meal and the cheerful conversations.
The next month passed by with us resuming our routine of reading together before dinner and on weekends. I didn’t even realize how much time I was spending with Luke until Mike reminded me we hadn’t hung out other than at work in the three months since Luke moved in.
Considering the fact that I used to be an almost-permanent fixture in his apartment on the weekends, he was obviously annoyed at my sudden disappearance from his and his family’s lives. Which was how he’d managed to guilt me into going on a hiking trip with him this weekend. There was a cabin near the trails that he’d booked for us and given me the key to this morning with the threat of firing me if I didn’t show up. Honestly, I was looking forward to hanging out with him, too. The only problem was that today was Tuesday, we were leaving on Friday for the whole weekend, and I still hadn’t told Luke about my impending trip yet. I was hoping to tell him today so he could make his own plans if he wanted to.
As I walked out of my last meeting before lunch, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Pulling it out, I grinned when I realized it was Luke. I’d discovered over time that Luke preferred texting over calling, no matter the length of the conversation. I didn’t mind either way; I was just happy he wanted to talk to me outside of our time together at home.
Luke:You busy?
