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SaturdayfoundmeandScott cuddled up inourbed since it was our day off, and we both had absolutely no intention of doing anything but lounging in bed all day. I was thankful my therapy appointments were scheduled for Fridays, since that gave me the whole weekend to recover. My session yesterday hadn’t been too rough, but I knew it’d only get worse from there on out.
This time around, I got to come home to Scott, who would hold me until I felt better, and that made all the difference. It still surprised me sometimes, how much Scott was willing to do for me, how much hecaredfor me. I didn’t doubt him or his love anymore. He’d proved to me again and again that he was there to stay, that he loved me despite all my issues, and I was finally ready to accept it for the truth it was.
Scott pressed a kiss on top of my head, pulling me out of my thoughts. I looked up and smiled when I saw him already looking at me. He returned my smile as his finger trailed across my cheek. “How are you feeling?”
“Content,” I answered with a soft sigh as I scratched behind Tressa’s ear, who’d decided to use my chest as her new bed. It was such a strangely peaceful feeling, something I wouldn't have yearned for a few years ago, and something that I never thought I'd feel again until I met Scott.
Scott leaned forward and pressed a kiss on my lips before pulling away with a smile. “I’m glad.”
We lay in silence for a while, just happy to be with each other. It was still hard for me to believe that I could have this. This joy, this happiness, this feeling of everything being right. I’d given up hope of ever experiencing this a long time ago, maybe even on the day my parents kicked me out. Marcus had only helped solidify the notion that I’d never be happy again. Yet there I was with a man who loved me, in a house that felt like home, with a cat who’d been through a lot of shit and still managed to survive it. Like I had. After hearing Scott say it so many times, I was starting to realize that he did have a point. I’d survived a lot of shit, and I’d still managed to find this happiness. Iwasbrave.
“Hey, Luke?”
“Hmmm?” I blinked a few times to get back to the present. I’d almost fallen asleep I felt so cozy.
“Do you have plans for Thanksgiving?”
“Um, not really. Why?” The charity hosted a Thanksgiving dinner every year, and that was where I’d been last year, but I hoped I’d get to spend this one with Scott. When I was younger, I’d loved all the holidays, but especially Thanksgiving and Christmas, since my mother used to bake the best apple pies on both occasions.
“I usually go to Mike and Roch’s for Thanksgiving dinner, and they wanted me to tell you that you have to come too.”
“Ihaveto?” I asked with an arched brow. His friends wanted me to come to their house for Thanksgiving? I hadn’t even met them yet. Did I really deserve an invitation?
“They’re the only family I have, and they want to meet the man I love,” Scott explained, and the slight edge of sadness in his voice made me feel guilty about thinking this had anything to do with me. Of course they’d want to meet me. Scott had already met my mom and Angie; it was only fair I met his family too. And even though I was nervous as all hell, I did kind of want to meet Mike, since I’d heard so much about him through Scott.
“I’d love to have Thanksgiving dinner with your family, Scott,” I told him, and the bright smile on his face was worth whatever anxiety I’d have to deal with on Thanksgiving night. But since he knew me so well, Scott pulled me closer to him until we were chest to chest, forcing an annoyed Tressa to leap off the bed and leave the room. He met my eyes, his brown ones warm and gentle, and whispered, “I know it’s difficult for you to meet new people, so if at any moment you need a break, I want you to let me know, and I’ll make it happen, okay? I want you there, but not at the expense of your mental well-being, all right?”
I had to clear my throat to push away the lump that had formed as he spoke before I could say anything. “Okay. I love you, Scott.”
“I love you, too, Lu.” Scott pulled me into a kiss, and I went willingly, taking over the kiss as I pressed my body against him. His lips were soft, still tasting faintly of chocolate as I let my tongue trace against his lower lip. His lips parted for me eagerly, and I tasted his mouth and moaned at the sweetness of it. He was sweet everywhere, mind, body and soul, and I absolutely loved him for it.
I didn’t even realize I’d pushed Scott on his back and climbed on top of him, not until I felt his bulge pressing against my thigh and realized I was just as hard. I paused for a bit, pulling away from his lips as I tried to catch my breath. I was surprised I wasn’t freaking out, that I was…okay. I trusted Scott, and I trusted him to take care of me. I wasn’t ready for anything more, but maybe we could have this.
“It’s okay,” Scott murmured. “We don’t have to go any further.”
I took a deep breath before meeting his eyes, and the sincere assurance in them only firmed my decision. “Can we continue?”
Scott’s eyes widened, and I kept speaking, knowing I’d lose my nerve if I didn’t. “Nothing more. I don’t think I can do that yet. But this…can we have this? Unless you don't want to, of course.” I remembered what Scott had told me about his sexuality all those months ago, and the last thing I wanted was to make him do something he wasn't interested in.
Scott stared at me for a minute, his hand coming up to trace a finger down my cheek. “Do you want this?”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
Scott traced my lower lip with his thumb before meeting my eyes again. “I do, too. But this will go only as far as you want it to. Say the word and we stop. Or just push against me, and we stop. Okay?”
“Okay,” I whispered and leaned down to claim his lips, my body fitting itself against his perfectly.
When I’d been with Marcus or any of his friends, I’d always been made to bottom, but I didn’t think I could do that anymore. I needed to be in control, to know where things were headed so I could stop them if they got to be too much. Scott understood that. Scott had let me be in control since the first time we kissed, no questions asked, and that was just another thing that showed how well he got me.
I continued to kiss him, our tongues tangling and tasting each other as I hesitantly pressed my bulge against his thigh, not completely sure if the sensations would be welcome. A low moan escaped my lips at the friction, and I rubbed myself harder against him, grinding into him as he raised his hip in perfect rhythm to mine. I deepened our kiss, moaning into his mouth as he rubbed up against me, letting him lead for just a bit. I pulled away from the kiss, burying my face in the crook of his neck, my safe space, as I continued to grind against him, my pace increasing as I felt my orgasm approaching.
Having an orgasm with Marcus had always been awful because he’d find a way to make it hurt, but I wasn’t with him anymore. I breathed in Scott’s woodsy, chocolate scent that comforted me as much as it aroused me in that moment, and it centered me. It reminded me Scott would never hurt me, that he loved me.
“Luke!” Scott’s voice was a breathy gasp, and that, along with the way he froze beneath me as his orgasm hit, was enough to push me over the edge. I moaned against his neck as my orgasm barreled through me, shuddering as my grip tightened on his shoulder. I held on to him as the feelings swept through me. Ecstasy, joy, love, and the utter relief that there would be no pain following this pleasure.
I was limp in Scott’s arms as I came down from the high, and Scott gently laid me down on the bed and slipped off, murmuring something that I didn't quite catch through the haze of pleasure that still surrounded me. But the moment he left, I couldn’t stop the panic that suddenly hit me.He-Marcuswould leave like that too, as soon as he was done. Was that really how it was supposed to be? But in the books, it always ended with a cuddle or falling asleep together. Had I done something wrong, then? Was that why Scott had left?
Before the panic could totally consume me, I felt Scott’s familiar presence in the room, and I opened my eyes, only now realizing that they were wet with tears. Scott was immediately beside me, pulling me close to him. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? Did you not enjoy it? Did I push you too far?”
