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‘Not yet,’ Merida admitted. ‘Ethan, do you remember I told you my friend was a maternity nanny?’
He nodded without thinking, because he remembered every minute of every hour of that time when they had been close. And they’d been so close that morning—lying in bed, talking and laughing with what had felt like the world waiting for them.
‘Well,’ Merida continued, ‘I was thinking of asking her to be here for the first few weeks.’
‘Am I running an English backpackers’ hostel?’
She never knew if he was joking.
‘Fine,’ he said when she didn’t smile. ‘If it makes it easier on you.’
Merida hoped it would.
‘But you do need to find a permanent nanny.’
‘I’m trying, but they’re all so very formal...’
He nodded. ‘Tell me about it.’
‘Were they awful?’ Merida asked. ‘The nannies you had?’
‘Not awful—they were just very strict. Meghan, the one I had when I was young...’ He hesitated. ‘Well, she was nice, from what I can remember. But we all know howthatworked out.’
‘I don’t,’ Merida said, and stared back at him. ‘All I know is the salacious stuff that I’ve read in the newspapers.’
‘That’s all I know too,’ Ethan said. ‘She was nice. Clearly my father thought so too.’ And then he admitted something. ‘I missed Meghan dreadfully when she was gone.’
Merida stared harder. It was the first honest conversation they had had in months, and his first real revelation about that time.
And while they were speaking—really speaking—there was something she needed to say.
‘Ethan...’ She was hesitant to push. After all, it wasn’t her place—she was a contract wife only. Yet, whether or not he wanted it, she was more than that in her heart. ‘Your father doesn’t look well. I think you need to come home.’
‘Someone has to work. I speak to him online every day, and he’s repeatedly said that he wants business as usual.’
‘It’s not the same as seeing face to face.’
No, it wasn’t.
He could see Merida, and he could hear her. But it wasn’t the same as being there.
‘You and your father need to sort things out while you still can.’
‘Just leave it, Merida.’
She’d pushed it too far, Merida knew. And so she clipped on her mask and fixed him with cold green eyes that were iced by unshed tears.
‘Fine.’ She gave him a tight smile. ‘Now I really do have to go.’
‘Not yet...’
As strained as they were, speaking with Merida was the highlight of his day. And so he tried to prolong things in a way that usually worked.
‘There are some amazing jewellers here. How about—?’
‘Ethan!’ Merida snapped. She didn’t want him coming home bearing gifts. She just wanted him home. Only she dared not admit that. ‘I need to go.’
God, but she was brittle, Ethan thought, and then cancelled dinner.
