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Merida just wanted to be away from here.
‘Excuse me,’ she said.
She wasn’t going to the restroom, although naturally that was what Ethan assumed. Instead she walked past the chattering, laughing people and then squeezed through the thick throng of patrons who were all heading back in as she made her way outside.
It was as light as if it was daytime, and she stood there for a moment, unsure as to how she even felt, let alone what she should do.
‘Merida...’
She turned to the sound of his voice.
‘Just go back in,’ she sobbed, and now she was really starting to cry.
‘Merida,’ He was as calm and as unruffled as only he could be. ‘Are you in labour?’
‘I can’t be!’ she cried. ‘I don’t want the baby to come now.’
‘I don’t think you get to decide,’ Ethan said calmly. ‘Why not now?’
‘Because we’re not ready.’
He could have been facetious and said they had a nanny arriving tomorrow, a driver waiting and the renovations were almost done, but there were times when he had to be serious.
‘We will be,’ Ethan said, and he took her in his arms and steadied her. ‘I promise you that.’
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ITWASTHEstrangest feeling to have a father in one part of the hospital, close to the end of his life. And a future life in another.
‘We’re not ready,’ Merida kept saying.
‘Well, according to your obstetrician, we’ve got ages,’ Ethan said, but it probably wasn’t the time to be making jokes about the fact that she was only three centimetres dilated.
It was suggested that Merida try and have a sleep before the hard work of pushing began.
‘Merida,’ Ethan said. ‘Weareready. I’ve been doing an awful lot of thinking and—’
‘I can’t do this now,’ Merida said.
She knew she was close to the edge, and that any minute now she would break down and confess just how much she loved him. Worse. Confess that he was, despite all things written and said, a nice man.
Merida wouldn’t love him so much otherwise.
She didn’t doubt that seeing his wife, in labour, pleading for love and for this marriage to survive, would manipulate him into agreeing.
He might even mean it for a while.
But he did not love her the way she loved him, with this all-consuming, burning love, and she did not want to be placated with crumbs.
‘Go,’ Merida said. ‘Let me get some sleep.’
‘I’m not going home.’
‘Then go and spend some time with your father.’
‘It’s midnight.’
‘I doubt he cares about the time when it might be his last night on earth.’ And then she begged him.‘Go.’
