AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘Leave what?’ Annie challenged, her chin jutting defiantly, shaking as she saw that she had touched a nerve that was clearly raw and forbidden but probing it anyway. ‘Oh, I’m sorry—I didn’t realize. Is thisanotherthing we can’t discuss?’
Thankfully he closed the door—thankfully because any semblance of this being a professional difference of opinion had long since gone. And he knew that, too, turning the lock just in case Jackie, or a domestic, or another of the hundreds he insisted they lie to might stumble in on this.
This what? she screamed in her head as he came over, because even if he meant everything to her, what they had could hardly be described as a relationship. But he knocked the wind out of her again by taking the road least expected. ‘Annie... ’ His voice was weary, a heavy mix of exhaustion and exasperation. His hands reached out for her, his fingers knotting her hair, his head burying itself in her neck, groaning her name over and over before finally revealing just a little bit more of nothing. ‘I don’t want to deal with my thoughts now.’ He was almost pleading, his appeal toying with her soul as his mouth searched her neck, easily crossing her boundaries again as he pushed her to the desk.
His kisses were so hard they should have hurt, but she hurt anyway, her mouth searching his because it was easier than speaking, easier than voicing what had to be asked, easier for his lips to deliver release than deliver an answer she didn’t want to deal with.
For now... Annie promised herself. Just for now.
She could almost glimpse the ache of withdrawal that would surely come afterwards—ravenous now for what had to be the final fix, the final bliss of oblivion before she confronted hell.
And he craved oblivion, too.
More than her even.
This aloof, remote man needed her now on a level she’d never experienced, his frantic lips still tasting her as he pushed up her skirt, his impatient fingers shredding her pantyhose, tearing at her knickers. And if it was frenzied it wasn’t without sentiment. Emotionless sex was impossible with this man, Annie pulling at his clothes as frantically as he tugged at hers, opening his shirt so she could suck on his shoulder, feel the blissful wedge of his thighs parting hers, touching him, tasting him, feeling him, devouring him because somehow she knew she was kissing him goodbye.
Because it was just too good and too bad and too dangerous to last, her release meeting his as he dived inside her, followed closely by tears, not at what had taken place but at what now must.
‘I’ll come over later.’ He said it into her hair, held her tightly when he had to let go.
‘Why don’t I come over to you?’ she offered, but it wasn’t out of kindness. She closed her eyes and prayed for a yes, her eyes screwing closed as he gripped her tighter and shook his head.
‘Stay with me.’ His head was back in her neck, their bodies still entwined, coming down slowly from the heady rush, somehow both knowing the landing was going to be bumpy. ‘Stay with me for a bit longer.’
Confusing words made sense. Annie knew he was asking her not to ask questions, to hold onto what they had for just a little while longer—only she couldn’t.
‘We should go out tonight, after your meeting.’ Her voice was hesitant, both bodies tensing as she refused to carry on playing the game they’d started. ‘Catch a movie or something... ’
But still he tried.
‘It’s been a long day. I’ll grab some take-away and come over to you.’
She was really crying now, silent, wretched tears as the writing on the wall came into horrible focus. ‘Why can’t I come over to you?’ Pulling back, she stared at his pained face, watched his mouth struggle to form an excuse, and actually wanted to slap him for what he’d made her. ‘I—want—to—go—out—tonight!’ Insistent words were delivered through bitter lips. ‘In the city. I want to eat out at some fabulous restaurant, slap bang under bright lights—my treat,’ she spat, ‘in case you’re worried I’m after you for your money.’
‘Annie, please...’
‘You know...’ Pushing him away, then peeling off shoes and shredded stockings and panties didn’t make for a particularly dignified ending. Neither did a running nose when she finally managed to look at him. ‘There are two reasons a man doesn’t want to be seen with a woman—either he’s ashamed of her or worried he’s going to get caught. So which one is it, Iosef?’
‘You don’t understand!’
‘And I’m quite sure you’re about to tell me thatshedoesn’t understand you either. Actually, don’t even bother answering my question.’ She put up a shaking hand. ‘Because I don’t really care which one it is. Whether or not I’m good enough for you, Iosef, I’m good enough for me—and if there is someone else, screw you!’ Putting her shoes back on, she ran for the door but, forgetting it was locked, had to suffer the indignity of waiting for him to come over with his keys. But he refused to open it, prolonging the agony, prolonging the inevitable.
‘Why would you think I was ashamed of you, Annie? I would give anything—’
‘Open the door.’
‘We need to talk.’
‘OK then. I’ll talk—and you can listen. Remember that “silly girl” taunt when you thought I was anorexic?’
‘What the hell does that have to do with this?’
‘Well, I was thatsilly girlonce,’ she shouted, ‘when I was a teenager—counting calories, tummy crunches, hating every piece of my skin. And I feel as if I’m becoming that person again.’
‘What are you talking about?’
He didn’t get it—she didn’t really get it either. It wasn’t food that was the problem, it was him, the lies she was telling herself and the lies by omission she was telling others—living a secretive existence again. ‘I hate what I let you make me... trying to look perfect 24/7 in case the fabulous Iosef Kolovsky decides to drop around and ask me to drop my knickers.’
