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And the fact that some of his letters had gone unread...
‘I will never understand her,’ Dante said, and as Alicia’s hand came down on his shoulder he shrugged it off, perhaps a little too harshly. Dante loathed touch. ‘Sorry,’ he said, as she pulled back her hand. ‘It is not you I am cross with.’ He was silent for a very long time and then he looked over to her. ‘No more.’
‘She’s at peace...’
‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘I’m not talking about her.’
Dante was speaking about himself.
Or rather he was not talking, just thinking of the chaos and the responsibility of loving another person.
No more.
Dante shook himself, as if from a dream, and then peered into the basket she’d brought and selected some cake. But instead of eating it he pulled it apart and fed it to the birds.
‘Did you ever find your father?’ Alicia asked.
‘Nope.’ He shook his head. ‘Did you find out about your parents?’
‘Sort of.’ She gave him a tight smile. ‘Well, not their names... But last week I was told by Reverend Mother that my mother got in touch when I was a year old. She and my father were from an hour or so away, a young couple. Scared, I suppose.’
‘Will you meet them?’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘Reverend Mother made an approach just before I turned eighteen.’ Alicia swallowed. ‘Well, an approach to the woman she believes is my mother. She married my father a year after they had me and have a family...’ She took a breath. ‘She told Reverend Mother to never call again.’
‘Surely you can know their names?’
‘Reverend Mother says she was never given them. That really it is just her guesswork.’ Alicia gave a tight shrug.‘Non destare il cane che dorme...’
She had been told not to awaken the sleeping dog. Dante agreed. ‘You’re better off without family.’
‘No.’
‘I mean it.’ Dante really did. ‘Hey, how is...?’ He paused, not because the name was forgotten, more in quiet surprise as he suddenly acknowledged to himself how relieved he was that Alicia was here. ‘Thank you,’ he said, ‘for being here today. For the cake...’
‘The birds are enjoying it.’ Alicia smiled, because he hadn’t eaten any, and he returned her smile.
It was his first genuine smile in God knew how long.
‘Beatrice,’ he said suddenly.
‘Ah, yes.’ She blinked as if she had lost track too.
‘She must be finishing school soon?’ Dante prompted. ‘Or is she at university now?’
Alicia Domenica lied.
She often did, and always had, but not quite so much with Ragno.
Only she did not know how to bare her soul to this man—to Dante. Perhaps it was simply that she was too embarrassed to admit that not a soul seemed to want her in their lives.
Not her parents, nor Beatrice...
Even Reverend Mother, as kindly as she could, had told her that the convent’s duty to her was done, but had offered her a year’s grace before she would be forced to make her own way in the world or marry. And Reverend Mother had just the young man in mind!
No, she did not want to tell Dante that, and so she lied.
‘She’s applying to go to university,’ Alicia said.
