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‘Is that what you called me for? To berate me for messing up this memorialandmy choice of employee?’
‘Actually, I called to berate you for possibly impregnating a British tourist, but sure, while we’re at it, we might as well—’
‘I’m hanging up now.’
‘Khalif, it defeats the purpose if you tell me that you’re—’
Khalif pulled the earbud from his ear and tossed it into the well near the gearbox, smiling. The moment of relief was, however, quickly dulled by the realisation that Reza was right.
If that’s what you’re trying to achieve...
‘I am sorry,’ Star said in the wake of the terminated phone call. He risked a glance towards her. ‘For your loss,’ she clarified.
He clenched his jaw, only capable of uttering the same two words she had given to his concern about her mother. ‘Thank you.’
‘Memorials are hard to choose,’ she said, and he wondered if she had somehow understood the one-sided conversation. His anger escaped before his mind could catch up, his response a half growl, half scoff, questioning what she’d know about it, until he remembered the loss of her father.
‘My father was cremated,’ she said, her eyes ahead on the horizon, but clearly seeing some distant past. ‘His ashes were scattered in the Solent but Mum wanted me to have somewhere that I could go to, that I could visit if I wanted to. Somewhere just for me and him. She saved a little bit of his ashes for me, so that when I was old enough I could decide where that would be. I...’ She trailed off, as if searching for the words. ‘It was hard to decide. I didn’t know him, I could barely remember him and I felt this...pressureto get it right, like I was being tested somehow on some instinctive connection I should have with the father I had never known.
‘And then I realised that it wasn’t about him, or Mum, or what people expected. This was for me.’ She pressed a hand against her heart and his palm itched as if he felt the beat of her heart there. ‘There’s a forest near to where we live, and I spent days searching for the oldest tree. It’s this beautiful old gnarled oak that’s been there for hundreds of years. Mum, Skye and Summer came with me and we lit candles and I buried the little vial of ash in its roots so that he’d always be a part of the wood we both loved so much.’
Khalif remembered that she’d said her father was a carpenter and thought that it was perfect. It must have been a beautiful moment for her. For them. And he was struck by a spark of jealousy. Jealous of the privacy and intimacy of the moment.
‘It’s not that easy,’ he said, his voice shockingly hoarse.
‘Easy?’ she asked, the tone to her voice making him realise how that had come out.
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that this memorial is not just for me, my nieces, my family, my country, but Samira’s family, her country... It’s...’
‘Big.’
‘Yes.’
She nodded. ‘So all the more reason to find the one that feelsright?’
He looked at her for a second longer than he needed to, causing the arousal he felt to sneak beneath his defences and grip him low and hard.
‘So, tell me about this family residence,’ she said, breaking the moment, a brightness to her tone that hadn’t been there moments before. And if it felt just a little forced, he could understand why.
He sighed and cast his mind back through the family history and legends of the old fortress. ‘It’s been there almost as long, if not longer than the city. It was originally a fortress between our land and the neighbouring countries, but it hasn’t been used by the military since the fourteenth century. It was barely even used in the last few hundred years, but my father liked it and started to hold family gatherings there, especially since his friendship with His Majesty Sheikh Abbad.’
‘Your sister-in-law’s father? His country borders yours?’
‘Yes. But, before my father, it was mainly known for being used for...’
He trailed off, as if not wanting to finish the sentence.
‘For what?’ she prodded.
‘For the Sheikh’s mistresses.’
‘How fitting,’ she replied drily.
‘You are not a mistress,’ he announced.
‘No, I suppose being a mistress would require more than one night.’
Silence filled the Jeep as they both descended into a mix of memories and fantasies of what had been and what could be. Star wanted to bite her tongue and Khalif clenched the steering wheel.
