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“Please. Did you not see Mr. Moody get all red in the face when you described taking a bat to Sophie’s ex?”
My eyes grew as I realized I had admitted to assaulting a man.
“Do you think they’re going to arrest me or charge me?”
“Of course not, that was self-defense. Lock is a cop, but he understood the situation. All of the guys did. Plus, as much as he and his team skate along that preverbal line, no way would he all of a sudden forget that and arrest you. No, but I will bet this fetus growing inside me that he will lay down his law the second you two are alone. He’ll tell you there’s no fucking way you’re ever doing that shit again.”
I waved her off not wanting to admit her truth. I knew he would have an issue, which was why I made him promise to relax, but the look he had in his eyes after he heard what I had done to Sophie’s ex… yup he was going to raise hell. I should’ve explained that I didn’t get into those type of situations often. Maybe once or twice out of twenty times. He had to know that I wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. Who would help these women? They needed me and I needed them.
The million-dollar question would be how I would help them, especially without Garrett and Reed’s help. Tonight would be the end of their involvement, I knew it. It was all over Garrett’s expression as he told all his secrets to Lock and his team. Despite Garrett’s apology for ignoring me, which by the way shocked the hell out of me, I knew they would separate themselves from me quickly. But that’s okay. I’ve been a warrior before them, and I would continue to be one after them.
“Lock will try,” I had told her. “But I will not stop helping those that want it.”
Ayana squeezed my hand and smiled at me.
“Good for you. But good luck with that.”
She then laughed and left the room leaving me with an over exaggerated imagination on what Lock would say and do when I defied him.
A slow smile creeped along my face asthosethoughts ran through my mind.
Speaking of Lock…
Something had changed between us. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but it was almost like he and I were a couple or something, and I know that couldn’t be right. I mean, sure we’ve been sleeping together, more in the last few days than before, but during the day he did his thing and I stayed cooped up in his house while his guys watched over me. If he came home early, he spent his time working on cases or talking with his guys.
When it was just the two of us, we’d sit around and watch television or talk about our day, you know, hang out. We even played a game of darts and a little bit of strip poker, but that was all in fun. He never touched me in ways that made my body turn to goo.
Okay, that’s not true, any time he touches me I melt, but you understand my meaning.
There wasn’t some overwhelming, deep seated meaning behind his touches. And when it was time to call it a night, we’d shower together and make love like wild animals until we exhausted ourselves and fell asleep.
Despite all that, I was having the time of my life. I could feel Lock had brought down some of his walls he had built around his heart when we were alone. I could see it in his eyes, feel it in the way he touched me and held me. But tonight, when he kissed me twice in front of everyone, or when he held me close to him, that was all new.
So, what did that mean? How was I supposed to take his sudden shift in behavior? I was so confused.
I stood to my feet and went over to grab the bottle of tequila I had earlier. I needed another drink. Hell, I needed the whole bottle with the night I had. I knew that the second I closed my eyes, I would relive tonight in my dreams except there would be a different outcome. Instead of a man in a mask attacking me, it would be Byron. We’d fight and he’d beat me down, then slit my throat or something. Or worse shoot Lock again in front of me.
I shivered from that thought and grabbed the bottle of tequila. I unscrewed the top and took a few gulps down my now dry throat.
Warmth immediately hit me, and I slowly made my way back to the extremely comfortable sectional. I plopped down onto the couch, sloshed some of the contents of the bottle onto my shirt and leg, and dropped the top.
“Fuck.” Fell from my lips as the top rolled underneath the ottoman.
I should get that stupid thing now instead of later.
I pushed the ottoman back so I could retrieve the top to the bottle and froze. Lying on the floor was an opened photo album. Inside the album were pictures of this gorgeous woman with long black hair, stunning blue eyes, and a smile that made me blush. She was hot! I mean smoking hot. If she turned that smile on me, I would have been putty in her hands.
Without thinking, I sat on the floor, took another swig of tequila, and started turning pages. I paused again when I saw the hot woman wrapped up in the arms of Lock. She had her back to his chest, his strong arms around her waist. Her eyes were closed, but she was laughing. Even through that, I could see the love she had for him, the joy and happiness she felt just being in his arms. Oh, but she wasn’t the reason for my hesitation, for my heart seizing and my breath hitching in my throat. It was the look in Lock’s eyes.
Goodness the way he looked at this woman, his wife, made my chest tight. The reverence, the adoration and love I saw in just his eyes were blinding. I shifted through other pages and in every picture of Lock and his wife I saw the same thing. There was so much want and desire in his gaze that I became jealous of a woman I had never met. But it answered so much for me.
Lock was incapable of giving himself completely to me. I saw that now. I understood. Admittedly, sure, he’s given me some pieces of himself, I won’t deny that. However, it would never be all of him because he had already given his heart to another. That’s why he’s kept me at a distance, why he’s told me that all he could offer me was his body. His heart and soul belonged to her and no matter what I did, how much of me I gave him, it may never be enough. Could I live with that? Would I be able to live my life in the shadows of another woman?
No, I couldn’t. Not when it came to Lock. Not when I would freely and willingly give my life for his. I’d hand over my soul to him in a heartbeat. He had complete power over me, he controls me, owns me. He could break me like a twig, and I would never recover.
Fuck, Phoebe, what are you doing?
I closed the book and shoved it back underneath the table when I heard his heavy footsteps. I took a deep breath, trying not to freak the hell out.
