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Noah bristled defensively. “What do ye ken of bein’ in love, or how it can linger on after heartbreak? Ye have a different lass warmin’ yer bed each night. Ye daenae ken the first thing about givin’ yer heart to someone.”
“True,” Scott said with an unbothered shrug. “But I never found a lass worthy of givin’ my heart to. Ye, on the other hand, managed to get yerself married to a lass who’s surely worthy. I can tell, and I daenae even ken her very well.”
“Aye, and that’s what I thought about Caitlin! That’s what we both thought of her, and then she tore me apart! Nothin’—absolutely nothin’—is worth that pain when it all comes crashing down!” Noah snapped.
There it was—the rotten core of all of his fears, in the very depths of his cold, shattered heart. A heart that had never been put back together again.
Scott’s eyes widened in shock and, for a long time, neither of them said a word. In the silence, only the crackle of burning logs and the rough pant of Noah’s ragged breaths could be heard.
“Noah,” Scott said in a soft tone. He rarely used Noah’s name, so it must be serious. “It was different wit’ Caitlin. Ye were so very young, and her head was filled with fairytales and nonsense that nay man could’ve lived up to. Saoirse isnae like that. Saoirse is… grounded in reality. She’s nae away with the faeries.”
Noah stared at the fireplace, watching the flames dance.
“I may nae ken Saoirse well, or at all, but I’ve kenned enough lasses to see that she’s nae ordinary. Nor is she like Caitlin,” Scott continued in earnest. “Saoirse is patiently waitin’ for ye to see what’s before ye, and to give her a chance. Caitlin had nay patience, nor any sense of duty or dignity. But Saoirse is still here—she hasnae run, she dinnae try to hide the mornin’ we left, and I think she’ll continue to hold her ground, hopeful that ye’ll warm to her in time.”
“She asked for love,” Noah reminded his friend.
“Aye, but she said nothin’ of it bein’ immediate. Give the lass some credence, Noah. She’s nae demandin’ all of ye and all ye have, and all ye are doin’ is actin’ like a spoiled bairn. She’s just waitin’ for the morsels ye cast her way, hopin’ they’ll amount to a full feast one day.” Scott unleashed an exasperated sigh. “If that doesnae show ye she’s nae like Caitlin, then ye ought to pluck out yer eyes because they’re clearly useless.”
Noah shook his head. “When she realizes morsels are nae enough, she’ll do as Caitlin did.”
“Nay, she willnae.” Scott grabbed Noah’s shoulder, twisting him around. “She’s bound to ye by marriage.Thatmakes her different, if nothin’ else, though there’s plenty more that I can see. Of course, ifyekeep pushin’ her aside and makin’ her feel unwanted and unwelcome, then ye’ll have nay one to blame but yerself when she does run off at last. There’ll be nay sympathy from anyone, like there was with the harpy.”
For several minutes, Noah sat and mulled over his friend’s words. Although most people thought of Scott as a rascal who thought only with the organ between his legs, he had more wisdom and insight than anyone gave him credit for. Sometimes, Noah suspected that the loveable rogue act was precisely that—an act, so no one would realize just how observant and intelligent Scott was.
Why do ye have to say things that make such sense?Noah lamented in silence. Everything Scott had said rang true, but it wouldn’t change anything.
“Nevertheless, the risk is too great,” Noah said finally, rising to his feet. His legs felt wobbly under his weight as the room slanted to one side. Pulling in a deep breath, he reached for the chaise’s armrest to steady himself.
Scott sniffed. “That’s because ye’re concentratin’ on the wrong risk. I’d say the risk of losin’ a lass like Saoirse is the greater peril.” He shrugged. “But if ye want to deprive yerself of happiness, do as ye please. Who am I to stop ye?”
“Daenae ye have soldiers to manage or somethin’?” Noah asked as he inched toward the door. The room swayed a bit, and he reached out to grab the jamb.
“Och, ye ken me—‘tis already done,” Scott answered with a hint of glee in his tone.
Noah swallowed, squinting his eyes against the dizziness. “I’m goin’ to bed.”
“Well, make sure ye dwell on what I’ve said and dream of that fair wife of yers,” Scott called to him. “Och, and watch that first step!”
The warning came just in time as Noah stumbled out of the door, remembering the three shallow steps to the hallway. He offered no thanks for the reminder as he began a swift stride toward his chamber. Despite Scott’s parting call, Noah prayed he’d find some peace from his desires and thoughts of Saoirse in sleep.
Making his way through the hallways and passages, he paused at the bottom of the stone stairwell that led up to the floor where he’d find his bedchamber. He frowned as a familiar, maddening scent infiltrated his nose.
Saoirse?His head whipped up, his eyes squinting at the top of the stairs. Anticipation held him rigid, his breath lodged in his throat… but his wife didn’t appear. The scent was just a phantom, haunting him.
Carefully, he climbed the steps until he made it to the top. There, the scent was stronger, confusing him. He’d assumed that it was just his imagination, but there was no mistaking the intoxicating fragrance.
“She was here,” he whispered. “But why?”
Scott’s words drilled into his skull.“Saoirse is patiently waitin’ for ye to see what’s before ye…”Noah hadn’t realized that might be literal. Had she followed him? Had she stood in this spot, waiting for him to come back?
His heart tugged, veering his gaze toward the hallway that would take him to Saoirse’s chamber. Perhaps, he could venture there for just a moment, even if it was to steal a single glimpse of her through the doors.
As he started toward her room, he halted.I cannae dae that. One look and I’ll find myself givin’ her everythin’ she wants. Nay, I must nae falter.
Noah turned swiftly and, using the wall for guidance, moved in the opposite direction of Saoirse’s chamber to his own. Stepping inside his chamber was far more appealing than his study, and not just because Scott was not there with his harsh truths. The bed welcomed Noah with open arms, and he dropped onto it without bothering to shed his clothes.
The instant he closed his eyes, Saoirse’s face appeared in the darkness behind his lids. She wore the same shy smile she’d flashed him in the Kirk, her blue eyes blazing with the lust and desire he had witnessed that very evening, while her rosy lips parted to meet his eager kiss.
