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He leans closer, his lips beside my ear, brushing the skin on my cheek. "If I'm not going to be your lover?" he whispers and his words alone nearly make me faint. "I can't do it. I'd have too much power over your body and mind. It wouldn't be fair." He takes in a deep breath. "I forget how inexperienced you are." He strokes my cheek with the back of his fingers. "I have to be very careful. Vampires have a lot of power over mortals. We can read your minds and it's hard to resistyou."
"Tell me how to put up mental blocks," Isay.
He shakes his head. "No."
"Why not?" I say, frustrated. "So you can just hop into my mind anytime youwant?"
"Yes."
I turn my head away in frustration, but he takes my chin and turns it back. He's smiling, and his smile turns into a full-out grin, and it's contagious because he's so beautiful in his paleness and black-lashed blue-eyed way, and he's being so honest. I can't help but smile back, my eyes tearing up a bit when Ido.
"Oh, Eve…" he says and closes his eyes briefly before bending down and kissing my cheek, his tongue touching my skin and I know he's after my dimples and it makes me both smile even harder and imagine where else he might put his tongue one day – when he's ready for this – forus.
Whatever thatmeans.
He presses his cheek against mine, exhaling into myear.
"I have to go – now – or I'm afraid I'll neverleave."
He takes my hand, leading me to the door. When we reach it, he folds me into his arms and strokes mycheek.
"So lovely," he says and I feel my cheeks warm under his so-intense gaze. "You have to know that I want you so much, Eve. But there are things taking place and before I …" he says and hesitates. "I want to make sure of them first. I can't say anything more. You'll have to trust me that I'm not doing this to play with you. I never intended for this to happen. I let things get out of my control tonight because you read about my past and your too-warm heart and body got the better ofme."
"None of what happened to you was your fault," I say, tenderness for him filling me when I remember what happened tohim.
He shakes his headquickly.
"I'll be in better control of myself from nowon."
"Do you have to controleverything?"
"Oh, yes. I exist for one purpose and that's to achieve my endgame. To attain it will require my utmost focus and self-control. I have to keep everything undercontrol."
"Evenme?"
"Especially you. You more thananything."
I frown, not knowing what that means or if I even like the idea. Or if I really likeit.
He breathes in deeply and makes that throatnoise.
"Please don't tempt me." He kisses me, his kiss chaste and then I think how different he is from Julien and my mind goes back to the image of Julien standing on the front step just a short whileearlier.
He frowns and cups my cheek with hishand.
"You were with himagain?"
"He followed me," I say, trying to find some excuse. "He said he has a security detail on me of his own. I didn’t let him into myapartment."
He shakes his head and then he relives everything that happened between Julien andme.
"He's not going to give up. Eve," he says and holds my gaze, his brow furrowed. "You have to stay away from him. He'll try to get in between us. Try to take you fromme."
I frown and two emotions battle inside of me. I like the way he sees me as his, despite protesting earlier to Julien about the twins and their possessiveness. At the same time, I don’t like it – in my mind. I'm an adult. Not a child. I'm not apossession.
I'm soconfused.
He bends down once more and kisses me, harshly, his tongue finding mine, and a surge of his desire fills me and it's mixed with frustration and some fear. I can't help but respond, my body warming in response to histouch.
