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Love,
Me
I get very little from the piece of paper except that the killer was amused with himself when he wrote this and he knew we'd eventually find it. I hold it out when Michel comes in the room and he takes it, looking atme.
"What'sthis?"
"Just readit."
He does and glances up at me, shaking hishead.
"Sacristy," he says, his breathing shaky. "Whoever it is knows you're working for us and that's only a very limited number ofpeople."
I feel as if my blood turns to ice. Michel, Terri, Ed, Julien… some techies at the SCU. Cecile – I emailed her to let her know I had this job, but there's no way she'd betrayme.
Ed joins us and Michel hands him the slip of paper. Ed reads it, rubbing hischin.
"Fuck me," he says. "I hate bad guys withbrains."
* * *
The rainnow falls in grey sheets between the buildings as we return to the car. Michel's silent for the rest of the trip and I don't interrupt his reverie. I know he doesn't want me to meet Julien, but now, I'm even more desperate to do so, see what else he can tell me about mymother.
Ed stops in front of my apartment and I turn to Michel but he says nothing, just takes my hand for a brief moment and squeezes, then pulls his hand away. I want him to come up with me, I want to be with him, but this is something I have to leave up tohim.
When I get into my apartment, I stand at the window overlooking the street, the water running down gutters to the drains, and I wonder who it is who's out there, watchingme.
* * *
Chapter 11
"Ye shall knowthe truth and the truth shall drive youmad."
AldousHuxley
I get up the next morning and dress and the first thing I think isn't about how nice it is that the sun is finally shining or that I love the smell of roasting coffee coming from the coffee shop on the street below myapartment.
I think of reading more of Michel'sstory.
What I read was upsetting, but I can't keep myself from the manuscript and pick it up after doing my usual routine of showering and dressing and munching down a bowl of bran flakes. I take it with me to the coffee shop and get my cup of Organic Medium roast coffee with cream and sit in the back corner – my usual spot for studying when I want to get out of theflat.
Do I feel guilty readingthis?
Yes. Incredibly. This is so personal… It's the chronicle of a tragedy. It's the very emotional story of these brothers and their death and rebirth as vampires. It's a record of their enslavement to Marguerite and her murder. He hates it so much he wants to burnit.
Will this guilt keep me from readingon?
No. I'm as drawn to it as I can be and there is no force on this earth that could keep me from readingit.
A sense of disquiet settles over me as I turn the pages to the next section. The section opens with a painting of a heart with a sword through it and I wonder what it represents. Is it the heart of Jesus? Or is it the heart of aman?
* * *
"Michel can't resist visitingDanielle once more before we leave. He caught sight of her on the battleground at night as we made our way there in the hopes that we'd find a dying soldier or knight and give them a peaceful quick death instead of slow from some othercruelty.
She was there nursing the dying and when Michel saw her, he hid in the shadows, unwilling for her to see him as he now was – a vampire, undead, having betrayed his vows and no longer a priest other than in his ownmind.
She was a lovely woman, even now, a decade after we both first met her, with long fair hair and hazel eyes that were fringed with thick lashes. A real beauty, with soft curves and softerlips.
