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Feeling languid and thoroughly exhausted, she went along with him.
When they were situated in bed, A.J. reached up to turn off the light.
“Leave it on,” she requested, getting a full view of the scars on his back. “I’m not ready to sleep yet.”
He stilled when her hand settled against the skin on his back. She wanted to soothe him even though the horror was far away in the past.
“Was it awful?” she asked.
He didn’t even pretend that he didn’t know what she was talking about. “Worse than that.”
“Do they bother you at all?”
“No, I’m all healed,” he said. “Except…”
“What?”
“I’m not as fast as I was before the blast.”
“How can you be sure about that?”
“I know my body, and although I’ve worked hard to regain my flexibility and strength, it’s different, weaker.”
“That takes a lot of courage to admit. Can you tell me what happened?”
“I can’t give you the particulars of the mission, just that a tango—that’s the enemy—was able to lob a grenade.” He leaned back into the pillows and the air he stirred made her shiver, his delicious male scent driving her wild.
“What would you have done if you couldn’t have gone back to the SEALs?”
“I probably would have become a trainer,” he said quietly.
“Not being a SEAL…I mean…” She trailed off.
There was something about this man that robbed her of her remoteness. It was an intangible thing she couldn’t put her finger on. He lived life to the fullest, sometimes on the edge, but to the fullest. She couldn’t seem to get enough of absorbing all that intense energy.
He smiled. “I wouldn’t shrivel up and die if I couldn’t be a SEAL. The job means a great deal to me, but it’s more important to contribute and be proactive, not lament about what you can’t do, but what you can do.”
He snuggled her against his chest, wrapping his arm around her. His scent was overpowering, shutting out all other thoughts but him. His eyes were restless, thick-lashed blue pools that locked on to hers.
“You know what I learn every time I go on a mission?” he asked, a darkness shadowing his eyes, his voice hushed.
She looked at him expectantly, imagining him in camouflage, carrying a weapon, his sure strides, the confident way he held himself. She felt strange then, a savage, tender feeling that she had never felt before for a man she barely knew. She admired him. The scars evidently showed what the man was capable of.
“I learn that you have to live every single minute. I’ve come close to death. Very close, Sienna. I know I want to live for every minute I have.”
Her eyes searched his compelling face. “Then why do you do it?”
“Because for me, Sienna, that’s living.” He turned onto his side to face her. “What about you and your job?”
“What about it?”
“It takes up most of your time. So much so that you don’t have time for something as important as your sister’s wedding.”
“That bust this weekend was part of a four-month sting operation that got a dangerous drug dealer off the San Diego streets.”
“And would it have gone off without a hitch if you’d been absent?”
“Well, yes, but I was part of the team. I had a right to participate.”
